Sunday, January 18, 2009


How was your week? Were you in turmoil? Was it a good week? Did you hurdle things the Lord has asked you too look at?

Have you been pondering the questions I place each week?

Dear friend/sister, PLEASE don't tune me out...try to listen....


Lets look at the title "Alone"?

I am a mother, Grandmother and Sister in the Lord of Lords, I have been divorced and remarried, thus, this is how I understand what others are going through when the DH decides to "look for greener pastures"....

I hopefully am giving things that will "Help" in not going through this again....the big "D"!!!

i was alone for a few years, due not to my DH finding another...but, due to my being a critical, judgemental, unhappy wife, who was not happy with anything. NO wonder he left,,,,,coming home to a Grump(putting it mildly), every night. NO, he was not and never has been a so called Christian....oh, he attended a Church building, because I harped enough to coerce him Into walking into the building with me, to make it look like all was well, but, all was not.

I want to encourage you wives and all who read these words, not to give in to "HARPING", Grumbling, hatefulness towards your DH, pulling away either emotionally or physically, from him...IT DOES NOTHING to build your relationship.

Now, on with my story, I took for granted that marriage was this way and it never could get better, but, never thought He would leave me, his little "Wifey"....

I AM NOT saying you made him do what he is doing or what he did.....just that, you can change yourself and truly be happy even in the midst of the most awful circumstances.

These things that drives men away, are not really, in the face, right in front, out and out rightly, there, they are subtle.

When you Dh acts reAlly fleshly at home, (swearing, does things that a "Godly man" wouLD not do...) What do you do?

Do you pull away from him, roll your eyes at him, even in front of others. Why not PRAY, PRAY<>

If he fails your children, where is your heart? How do you respond,... with coldness, or unconditional acceptance OF HIM...

How about when he makes a statement or story, or recounting a incident, do you correct him, do you roll your eyes,...what is it that you puSh him away with?

What about if he acts like a jerk? How do you act?

Please remember, I did all these and more, so I know exactly what you are feeling....

My exhusband, acted like a real jerk most of the time, but, that gave me no authority to treat him with distain, unsubmissiveness and criticalness....

How do we make our man "suffer", when he hurts us? Or, do you?

When he spends money you think you don't have?,,,what then...When he wants to do something and you don't, Hardheartedness, will not draw him.

What about when he needs/needed you just to believe in him, did you? Do you keep his faults ever before him, reminding him "I told you so"....

Why is it we women think if we are standoffish, we will draw him, not so, he will more than likely turn the other way, to HER! If he hasn't, you are one woman, that better tell him how much you appreciate him and change your mind about him....

When he doesn't take the "lead" in your home, with neighbors or friends, How do you act?

How do you act when in the company of family and friends? Are you the martyr?

When he did not know how to show love, and I felt a void emotionally, I wish I had borne all things and hoped all things and loved him unconditionallly, instead of giving up inside and turning to others for emotional support. I never saw the need to endear myself to him. I took for granted that he would fulfill the husbands moral obligation to love me. I wish I had gone to "Gods Beauty School" for the whole woman.

After him leaving, the children and I were plunged into poverty, I could not make enough money then, 20 some years ago to keep food on the table, no sitters then, no $, my 9 year old daughter kept the children, got them ready for school and got them dressed, fed and clothed and ready to go to school....(much to my dismay, but, what else could I do?) Child support was unheard of and my car was a clunker, my rent was big, and the heat never went above 65....things slowly fell apart and then I began to...

Some of you can relate, and some something, before you are this woman and Alone!

Today, there is a breed of women that do almost anything they can to make ends meet. Just trying to make it without a man around. Their dark circles around their eyes and never being home tells a story all to prominent in our society today. At least employers can depend on them, because they cannot loose their job! Always distracted, they are away in their thinking, thinking about all that needs to be done. Sometimes single moms team up, that helps greatly. Bitterness grows in their hearts though, as they watch happy couples and even 2nd time arounds....Now, What is wrong with this picture?

Do you think, they have to stay this way? NO!!!! I did not, I saw my need and changed it with Gods help, one cannot do it Alone...Only with Gods help and a born again experience can one change.

OH yes, remember all of this was not your fault, it was your husbands. Really?
Maybe you can change what it is that drove him away, wether emotionally, or physically.

I am going to write something,and you may just erase this Blog, but, I need to, remember all of these problems started when "you" got MAD at him for? got Mad at him for?.......

Or when you got MAD at him for?....................

I think your getting the picture....Then it all got worse, when he wanted you to do something and you were MAD...then he asked you a question and you were MAD....then he wanted you to do something intimately, and you wer still MAD!!!!

Do you patronize your spouse and treat as if he is a dumb kid? Because he really doesn't know? He really can't possibly be that think....

Well, he IS NOT!!! MAY I?...tis you that is that stupid...for listening to the enemy of our souls, the enemy who will use anything to destroy mariages and people. Did you just seethe in hate for your DH yelling/swearing at the children?

Now, sister/Friend....what are you going to do this week? Try to remember NOT to criticize, attack, be distant, standoffish, or just plain MAD!!!!

Go the foot of the cross when this wants to happen, pray, pray, pray...dedicate your heart to the one who created you, Jesus Christ, and fall on your face in tears, to hear what the Lord of Hosts has for you!

He has soo much,. Listen....

He practices his faults, and you practice your mad attitude. well, you might both be practicing divorce if not halted.

Have you forgotten why you were created? Gods way works, yours will not....if not changed!

This is a hard lesson, but taken to heart will give you freedom, and joy in your heart of hearts. For a moment God has broken through your wall of excuses...why not try? What have you got to loose?

"Therefore, to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin". (James 4:17).

"But he that heareth, and doeth it not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great"(Luke 6:49).

"For God has not given us a Spirit of fear; but, of power, and of love, and of a sound mind'(II Timothy 1:7).

Lets practice Love and happiness, not being MAD!

What is Gods will for your life?

To be the best Helpmeet you can be?

Sin causes women to self destruct,because this self destruction is a slow, almost undescernable process, many women do not see the destruction coming until it is too late. This slow process often blinds awoman from seeing her part in this destruction, than she will repeat her mistakes....

Make a new habit....

Think of the thing that your husband does that irritates you the most....Now, can you tell yourself that this is really not as bad as my mind and self destruction is making it out to be? My critical attitude

is a far greater sin than his bad habits, I am guilty of disobeying the Word of God, when I do this. It is Gods business to direct my Dh and convict him, not mine.

Getting Serious....

Go back and reread this blog post, every time you see something that talks to your heart, ask it I Lord?...and possibly NOT my Dh?

Than ask God to nudge your heart, when you fall into this trap again.

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