Monday, February 16, 2009

Reactions Define You!!!!!

This is my 2nd attempt at writing this computer just blanked out and I was almost finished with this to start over......

A wise woman does not dream of what "could have been". She does not see herself as "Gods" gift to her man, therefore, she is joyful and content in whatever cinrcumstances she finds herself in....
By the time you married, you already had ceratin convictions. You knew right from wrong. you did what you thought was right, and no one could persuade you differently. But, now you find yourself and your convictions challenged by someone who may not share your established standards and worldview. He may be more liberal than you, more permissive, or he may be stricter and more more legalistic. The presence of children further complicates the situation. You want desperately to do what is right for them, but you have submitted yourself under the authority of another. Life is not going the way you had planned, and you cannot react in the way you wanted to. You find yourself pushed to the limit of your patience, and then you react in unsubmissive and selfish anger.
Reactions are not premeditated actions springing from our best motives, carefully thought our, planned, weighed. They are emotional responses, breaking lose like wild horses when we feel hurt, cheated, used or misunderstood. They are often are retalitory, sometimes condemning, confrontational, or adversarial and eventually vengeful and punishing.
Your reactions break you loose from your social inhibitions and manifest who you really are inside and what you really believe at your core level.
We loose our carefully preserved "front" when we are pressed beyond our own thinking. Then,who we really are is made manifest.
You can control your future reactions considerably by changing the way you think you feel, and it will determine how you will react in stressful situations.
Researchers have determined that the average person thinks over 40,000 thoughts per day. The heart is filled with these thoughts, and it is out of that reservoir of thoughts that the mouth speaks, be it good or bad. When the pressure is on, and the dam of resevation breaks loose, you cannot control what you say, because you will speak from the abundance of your heart---from the 40,000 thoughts you had that day and all the days before.
"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh"(Luke 6:45) If you, as s wife, are going to change the way you have been speaking, it is not a matter of willpower; it is a matter of thought ower. "For as he thinketh in his heart, so IS he..."(Prov. 23:7). You must bring "into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"(II Cor. 10:5). "For out of hte heart proceed evil thoughts..."(Matt. 15:19). As Paul says, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus"(Phil. 2:5).
You will ve "transformed by the renewing of your mind"(Rom. 12:2), not by the strength of your will to hold your tongue. God tells us HOW to think about our role as wife and help meet. If you believe him, you will think diferently.......
If I were in a airport baggage pick up area waiting for my red suitcase, and I saw a young man snatch it and run, I would be very upset UNTIL I learned that my husband sent him to get it for me. When my thinking changed, my emotions changed.
The lady married to the accountant gone Dairy farmer was sitting at home angry because her husband was late. When he finally arrived, he went directly to the barn to take care of his cows. She couldn't hold her tongue. She couldn't help the way she felt, because she had spent the entire day, no, the entire week....month.....last 3 years, thinking how miserable whe was for the circumstances her husband had barought upon her....She felt HER "red suitcase" was stolen. "This was not what we greed upno when we got married"......"He should come in and eat the supper that is already cold from waiting, not go out and milk first..."she had reapeated to herself for the last 3 hours when it was obvious he wa late.....She was storing up in her heart an abundance of selfish thoughts. Her actions and reactions became enslaved to her misguided thoughts.
What could she do to change her thoughts? She coul learn something she does not know, not just from this bookd advice, but, from Gods Holy Word....The Bible....
She was not created to choose her husbands vocation, nor to choose his or her lifestyle. She was created by God to be her husbands helper. In her case, that meant becoming a country girl----dairymans helper. that doesn't mena she has to like cows, but she was created to help the man who does like cows.
Think how differnet it would be if, when he was 3 hours late, she thought about how blessed she is that he comes home every night and brings a paycheck, he IS home every night, she can crawl into a warm bed at the end of a day without being lonely, has a daddy to her children and the future of more cows, milking equipment and possibly a rise in milk prices.....How thrilling her life would be.......An adventure, not stagnate.......Many a woman is sitting alone at 7 in the evening, afraid that her ex will break in her apartment and steal the children..and where will she and her children will move next month, or how will she pay the bills?.......She and many, many others would love to sit in the "dairymans" ladys kitchen, waiting peacefully for her grassroots husband to come in late for supper, only to go out and tend his cows. When he did come through door, his dinner would be warm and the smiles and hugs would be warmer, with a promise of a even warmer bed.
You are what you think, and God tells you how to think. THINK THE TRUTH!!!
This is not the power of positive thiking: this is the power of the truth as God defines it.
You are created to be your husbands helper, not this conscience, not his vocation director, and certainly not his critic.
When you develop and adversarial relationship with your husband, you do so on the premise that you are right and he is wrong...OUCH!!!!.,....You are also assuming that you have the duty to resist, confront, and challenge him. In thinking he is wrong and you are right, you declare yourself wiser than he, more spiritual, more discerning, more sacrificial, etc.
All this adds up to the obvious conclusion that you have assumed the role of his leadership, teacher, and judge. This is sinful and odious, and it displeases God greatly. No woman will ever have peace and joy until her mind is filled with goodwill toward her husband, and she is committed to becoming a good help meet for him. Is much of your life a reaciton to real or perceived wrongs? Are you truly as wise as you think?
Take this test to see....................

Wisdom Test..........
1. Do you have enough fear of God to not question his Word?
2. Do you sometimes feel God is punishing you by telling you to obey your husband?
3. Would you give God excuses like, "My husband is mean," or, "I am a strong personality, and he is weak"?
4. How would you respond if God gave you directions on how to talk, when not to talk, or how to dress or even wear your hair?
5. Are you comfortable with dismissing the Bibles role for women by saying we live in a different culture?
6. When God says to reverence(meaning, stand in awe of)your husband, do you think that is demanding too much?
7. Will you say, "If God says it, or even suggests it, than that is what I will do"?

If you can say, "Not my will, but thine be done," then you can know that your prayer is based on the fear of God. It is the beginning of wisdom. Ask God to give you the beginning of wisdom by asking him to teach you to fear him.

Time to Consider........
WE have larned that our created nature is to be a help meet to our husband.
We have learned that a help meet is someone who helps herhusband in any and all of his life projects.
We have leatned that the jou ot the Lord is our strength and that a merry heart is a real asset in becoming a godly help meet. A smile keeps our man looking our way. Our desire is to become a jolly "playmate" to our husband and to be an heir with him of the grace of life.
All of us have decided that we do not want o grow old and become crazy old, religious fanatics who think that they are obeying God while disregarding his written Word. We have learned that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and we shudder to think we might have ended up being like some of the old reprobates we know tho dishonor their husbands.
We have learned that wisdom is a gift that God promises to anyone who asks. Through wisdom, we have discovered that eachof our husbands are made in the image of God, either as xommand men, Visionarys or Mr. Steady or a mis of all three.
We know that it is our job as a help meet to always be looking for ways to better meet ourhusbands needs and desires.
Believe you me, I know this is NOT easy........we had a something this was exactly what this page is aboaut today, now,,,,I have to ask myself....How will I deal with it...first, I apalogized, then we still got nowhere...then I confessed and tried to change my mindset, still to no avail,,,,so her we are at a standoff......
On my knees, I into prayer for Gods wisdom and not my own......
Now it is time for us all to go back and add to the list the tings you could be doing that will free your husband to be the man god created him to be...
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! this will not be easy, but, with Gods help and Him doing the changes, I too, can be"Created to be His help Meet".

Lets not give up Ladies....
Love to all who read this blog....

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