June 22, 2009 Monday...Earning His Trust...........

Earning His Trust....
Have you ever wondered why your DH does not trust your judgement?, or even worse you? Read on and see how you can change his feelings in that area towards you....
Beware, this may take work on your part in your heart..........
Not all women are as wise as some women. Years ago I knew a sweet young girl who was really dumb. She had a very tender heart(which she thought was Gods love and compassion in her), and she always showed a weakness for men who "needed" her. Her name was Sunny, and she was as fair and lovely as the Sunshine she was named for. Sunny always picked up hitchhikers to witness to, even though the older told her this practice was not wise. One day she picked up a young man of Arab descent, who looked and talked very romantic. To make a long story short, Sunny married him.
She was soon pregnant with their first child, and in a matter of weeks, the violence began. Over the next 7 years, Sunny was rugularly subjected to his alcoholic rages and beatings, and she endured his flaunted unfaithfulness. She and the children were alone for days at a time, even weeks, as her husband stayed with "friends". He returned home to vent his rage and take the few dollars she earned to support their growing family. When Sunny was pregnant with their third baby, Ahmed came home drunk and tried to kil her with a butcher knife. Only the miraculous intervention of an Almighty God spared her life.
Every time Ahmed came home raging drunk, Sunny would leave the house with the loud railing accusations and go to her mothers home and cry out her sorrows. She would get on the phone and call all of her friends and tell them what Ahmed was doing to her. But she did not leave him.
One day, I saw her at a church meeting---a huddled, sodden mass of tears and exhaustion. Sunny confessed to plotting her husbands murder. She said she couldn't tolerate life any more as it was, but her children needed her. So she had decided to kill her husband instead. Her murder plan was well thought out and could have succeeded if God had not sropped her.
I spent hours in prayer and counseling with Sunny that evening. I asked her to make a decision, either to leave her Husband once and for all and put the pieces of her life bback together, or to stay with him and begin a campaign of winning his heart and saving their life together. I fully expected her to leave him that night; but I discovered something amazing about her: Sunny really wanted Gods will in her life. She had grasped and eternal vision about life, and she now believed God could save her man.(DO YOU????)
I knew of Sunnys weakness to blab everything ; she could not keep a secret to save her life. I also knew her husband was a very private man, and that her blabbing about his sins kept him in a rage, as it would any man. I explained to Sunny that in order to win her husbands heart, she needed to reverence him. This did not mean she had to see some goodness or worth in him that was not really there, but that she needed to show him esteem for the sake of her children and herself.
Sunny alredy did everything else right. She was obedient, faithful, cheerful, a keeper at home and a help meet. I encouraged her to go one step further and look for an opportunity to reverence her husband. She was not to speak ill of him ever again. Her conversations with others, as well as with him, would be only praise and appreciation.
Sunny had a learners heart(Do You?). She took my advice, and the change in her husband was obvious in just one week. It is amazing how vulnerable a man is when a woman treats him with honor. He stopped going off with his drunken friends and got a job so he could help support the family. He came to Church occasionally and seemed amazed at the comments prople made. "Sunny says you play the saxophone like a genius". "Sunny told us you were a hamdsome man", "We've been looking forward to meeting you; Sunny told us....." Her Husband was shocked, and Sunny continued on her mission. A week or so later, she got encouraging boosts in the form of a dream.
She dreamed that a top government official came to the office building where her husband worked on a cleanin g crew. The official had a meeting with the manager of the business and told him,"I need to hire a man for the managerial position in my department. The qualifications required are faithfulness, hardworking, honesty, punctuality, and intelligence....no special education needed. We can always teach him what he does not know, but, we cant give him work ethics. So do you have anyone who has a good work ethic like that? the manager said, "I have one guy who fits that profile, but he is just the clean-up man." In Sunnys dream, the government official said, "I don't care if the guy can't read or write, if he is faithful, hardworking guy that I can trust and depend on, then I will hire him and double his wages." In her dream, her husband was hired by the government official to fill a managerial position.
When Sunny awoke, she excitedly told her husband the dream. She was sure that it was a sign he was destined for greatness. Remember what we learned when we studied "Mr. Visionary", how greatness is a state of soul, not certain accomplishments of the lack of them? Previously, when Sunny called her friends to "TELL" them what a creep her husband was, she was reinforcing to him the belief that she thought he was a looser. She publicly shamed him, and he continued to be shameful. Her opinion became his frame of reference. Now Sunny began to publicly exalt him, with miraculous results.
Her husband thought of her dream as silly, but he held his head a little higher when he went to his regular job the next day---on time! Sunny went to her mothers house and got on the phone. She called her friends and told them her dream. This time.....her DH did not mind her blabbing!
To my knowledge, her husband is still on the cleaning crew, and Sunnys dream was just that---a dream. But it expressed her heart toward her husband, and her opinion of him was far more important to him than any job he could ever get. When she dreamed he was a winner and told it around, Her husband tried to live up to that image-----LADIES..THIS IS A KEY..WHAT WE SAY ABOUT OUR DH'S IS HOW THEY ARE----So do say uplifting things, or tear them down because they are as human as you?
Her husband found such pleasure in her life that he wanted to find out about her God....In time, He learned to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. The las time I visited with her, they were both growing in the Lord together.
The Scripture says, she won him "without word" (Bible) by her "conversation"(1Peter 3:1). God's way works. Who would have ever believed it? Sunny did-------Can You?
Ladies, where is your heart in this story(true by the way)....Do you lift up your husband in front of others(ie...family, children, friends, church people)...or do YOU make remarks, tell tale things, tell about his faults?
Lets try this week, to ONLY say good things about our DHs....It not only changes our hearts, but, others too.....

LOVE TO ALL WHO READ THIS BLOG....
TERRI