Monday, November 2, 2009

What is a cold dinner?

Life is so much different than if used to be. Several of us ladies were sitting around a supper table recently, telling about some of our early disasterous cooking experiences. It brought vivid memories of my newlywed days. When I married, I really didnt know how etc.,, on top of that, my family are strictly "country"- peas and cornbread(still my fav), ham pork chops, fried chicken, trunip greens, etc., while my husbands family ate a very different type of diet.

I will never forget one hot afternoon., We lived in an apartment in the back of an old Victorian house which consisted of a living room-kitchen combination and a bathroom. We had no air conditioning, and that far down south could get really miserable in the summer. One sultry summer day, I worked hard to prepare a home-cooked meal for my husband, and had it ready when he came home. When he walked in the door, he was soooo hot and sweaty, he took one look at that hot meal and said in despair, "This is NOT the day for a hot meal: this is the kind of day you need a cold meal!",My heart was just crushed. Hot and sweaty myself, I had slaved to serve him the best way I knew how. I had never even heard of a cold meal. What on earth was he talking about? At that point in my life, a tomato stuffed with tuna or chicken salad was totally foreign to me. I must tell you, my story wasnt very funny thirty years earlier, but as I finished telling it to my friends, we were all laughing about how "crushed" I was that day.
I was surprised to see that one of the younger women at the table didn't think it was funny, as she huffily retorted, "Did you throw it at him? I would have!"this stopped me in my memory tracks. Was I angry? Did I want to throw it in his face? I really dont remember ever having those thoughts. I do remember, wanting to learn how to make a "cold" supper. I do remember being hurt and sad. But my most compelling thought was how to be the best wifey to my man I could be, even if that did mean learning how to make a cold supper. When I was married, I became Mrs. So and So......His life, His aganda, His desires became mine. I considered my marriage to be my career for the rest of my life, and I intended to be successful at it. If he didnt like the food that I cooked, rather than refusing to cook anymore, saying that he was just too hard to please, I would learn to cook something else.
I was DETERMNED to please my man.
I found that he was not really that hard to please. Most men are not so hard to please. I once heard someone say, that all men really need is food, intimacy, and respect, and hell be pretty content. That is certainly an oversimplification, but, from experience, I know that those things are the basic elementary needs of all husbands. ANd so, I have worked at it from that perspective for almost 30 years. It is still my goal to be pleasing to my husband. I am pleased to tell you that he delights in me. I was determined to earn his delight.

Reflecting......"A wise woman does not let little things stir her spirit in agitation. With a quiet and meek spirit, she seeks to make all things better."

With much love and hopefully continuing posting.


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