Hello Ladies......

Just a note.... What I post is a combination of what I have read over the years and my own experience...not at all, the "Gospel"...I am sooooo glad for blogs....one can say what one wants in any way one wants.

I just hope and pray, what I have gathered over many, many years of "learning"....has been a help to someone. Much of it, is from the school of hard knocks....

It may not work for everyone, but, hopefully for one, who can make it work for them.

Love to all who read this and blessings.....

Terri

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mr. Steady.....

Good Morning to all of you who read this blog;

May Gods Peace truly sink deeeeeep into your inner recesses and a "Do not disturb" sign has been placed where the enemy of our souls can see....

We are continuing on with our readings of the 3 basic types of men, this one being the last but surely not the least...

Today is on "Mr. Steady".....

Lets go on.........

God is as steady as an eternal rock, caring providing and faithful like Jesus. He created some men like that.....The steady man does not make decisions or spend his last dime ona new idea, and he doesnt tell other people what to do. He will avoid confrontation at all costs. He doesn't invent things, but, will build the factory to invent them in. Managing the assembly line is right up his alley. He will not jump in front to lead, but will if encouraged to do so. He will quietly ignore things in others that drive Mr. Command and Mr. Visionary crazy. As a general rule, he will be faithful in the same house, car(unless it quits) and the rest of his life will stay the same till the day he dies. Those of us who have learned the peace and safety of this kind of steady man, want to keep him, but, they are rarely available. He will also be content to be with the wife of his youth their whole lives.

Joys and Trials....

Being married to this kind of man has it's joys and trials........on the good side. he never puts undue pressure on anyone, you rarely feel pressured, hurried, pushed, of forced.

When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him.

A bossy woman may not see his cautiousness as a attribute, she wants it NOW! You may think he is wishy-washy and only a follower because of his lack of hasty judgement. There is no exciting rush in him, just letting others USE him, but, his slow steady nature probably keeps you and him out of alot of fixes. When you need him to just tell you what to do, he wont.

Some woman see all of these as a lack of Spiritualness, when it is the exact opposite. His lack of spontaniety and open boldness looks unspiritual, however, he is deeeeeeep, like a deeeeep s l o w flowing river that leads to rapids(that may be you). He may look like he is unmoving, but, nevertheless, he is very strong.

Dissappointment and unthankfullness can make you wearier than any amount of duties. The trials he SEEMS to cause you are really your discontented responses to what you consider to be his shortcomings. If you didnt attempt to change him into something other than what God created him to be, he would not cause you such grief. His very steadyness keeps him on his middle-of-the-road course, it WILL drive a CONTROLLING WOMAN CRAZY!!!!!(Is that woman you?)

If you are married to this kind of man, who is kind, loving and serving(maybe not all), then you are likely to end up looking like an unthankful shrew. He helps you, adores you, protects you, and is careful to provide for you, and you are still not satisfied. Shame on who?

When you come to really understand your man as God created him, then you will STOP trying to change him. The KEY is to know your man. If he is Mr. Steady, then, you want to learn to be thankful and to honor him as the one created for you in the image of God. A man who is created steady brings peace and safety to a womans soul. (Heb. 13:8) His gentleness is NOT a weakness, IT IS HIS STRENGTH!!! Your husbands indecision is not indecision. Your husbands lack of deep spiritual conversation is not a lack of caring, it is simply the cap on the mountain of intense emetions. If he ever speaks of how he does feel, he will most likely become teary...REJOICE!

He is all too willing to hear you(Prov. 20:5).

Is this your man?, then you need to learn to stand still(for a minute or more) and listen. Ask God to give you a shamefaced spirit, quiet and gentle. Stop expecting him to perform for you. Pray for him to have wisdom and STOP trying to make him into what he can never be.

ALLOW him to be the still, quiet, thoughtful presence------just for you!!!

Seek his thoughts on what to do, BUT>>>>>wait for the answers, he will think about it.

A STEADY man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet, take her own innitiative when needed.He enjoys a woman being a "Proverbs 31" woman. But, laziness discourages him. He needs a resourceful woman with dignity and honor. It is important to Mr. Steady that his wife is able to be self-sufficient in all the mundane things of daily living, like paying bills, making appointments and entertaining guests with ease. At the end of the day, Mr. Steady will enjoy weighing what he has accomplished with what you have accomplished and will rejoice in the value of having a worthy partner in life.

Sometimes these men are among the most important in the Church, they make well thought out, wise decisions.

The children can grow up to honor their gentle speaking dad if mother HAS NOT degraded this Mr. Steady to the point, the children dissrespect him.

He will not talk about himself as Mr. Command and Mr. Visionary might. He will wait for others to call him(always in need) and then will be proud(to himself) of others calling him for this and that.

When you as a wife dishonor a man like Mr. Steady, you WILL see him shrink, into a puddle, walk as if he has a 10 ton weight on his back and turn you off more often than not....why not?...he cannot live up to YOUR expectations...

To others he is mediocre and lacks strength and authority, when in actuality, he lacks a respectful wife.

Of all 3 types of men, this one will be liked by everyone.

LADIES>>> this is my DH....I treated just like the above says not to and watched him shrink and act like a 50 ton weight was on his back, not understanding that he LOVES ME SOOOOO MUCH, that he did not want ot hurt me when I treated him like this. Now, HE IS MY Mr. Steady, and walks upright as s man proud of his marriage and wife....

THIS TOOK TIME, and does not happen overnight, but if you can grasp what I have typed...then you wil be well on your way to having a glorious relationship and marriage with your Mr. Steady. You can truly be his Helpmeet!!!!

"Ruination" Wifes summary.....

~~~~~The wife of Mr. command can ruin her marriage by failing to honor, obey and reverence her husbands authority.~~~~~

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Visionary can ruin her marriage by failing to follow, believe and participate as an enthusiast in her husbands dreams and visions.~~~~~

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Steady can ruin her marriage by failing to appreciate, wait on, and be thankful for her husbands pleasant quilities.~~~~~

"Successful" Wifes Summary....

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Command can have a better marriage to him by becoming hiw adoring Queen, hororing and obeying his every(reasnable andunreasonable) word. She needs to dress, act, and speak aso as to being HIM honor .

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Visionary can have a better marriage by laying aside her own dreams and aspirations and holding onto her role as HIS helpmeet. Believe in him and follow him with ajoy into whatever path he shooses.

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Steady can have a better marriage by being joyful and realizing what a friend and companion she really has. By living that gratitude verbally and actively, her man will blossom. by trying to change him, he will shrink witha 10 ton weight on his back.

TIME TO THINK>>>>

Make a list of your husbands attributes----things that allow you to see which type of man he is. It may be a mixture of 2 or maybe all 3, but, will be stronger in one area.

Ask God to give you wisdom to see your need and where you can build up rather than tear down you man.

May you have the tenacity to persevere to have a glorious marriage, I did and it can be!!!!!!!

Blessings to all who read....

Terri

~~~~~~~~~Time to visit?

Hello Ladies;

It has been on my mind today, when was the last time one had a few ladies over for ,hmmmmmmmmmmm, tea, and handwork?

We ladies need each other and to bounce things off each other. NOT TO GOSSIP, but, to see what others thnk.

When we share we should not be sharing to "TEACH" others, but, just to share and leave it. Now don't go away from a Tea with your feelings hurt, because others don't see it "your" way. Lets be grown up enough to understand, not all see things our way. AND, maybe, just ,maybe, there is another way to see it.

If you think that others will just jump at the chance to see "it" your way, that probably will not happen. They most likely will hear it, process it, and probably NOT do "it" your way. Part of getting together is to SHARE, and LEAVING IT THERE.

Being an adult does not mean our opinion is the only way. share it, and leave it. NO gossip about so and so, who just is this way and that.

"Love covers a multitude of sins...". yes, the Bible says that.....now onto bigger and better things, friendship, lets cultivate it, and not ruin it by wanting our own ways....

Its time to growup for many of us...lets!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~Mr. Visionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning Ladies;

First, I would like to "WELCOME" all of you who read this blog. It is one that you will learn from, get mad at, and hopefully it will help to change you into what God has created you to be, "A Helpmeet" to your Husband.

This is not a impossible task as you may think, and it is not as hard as you think, ""...with God all things are possible"..." Yes, you can be what God wants you to be and not what you think you should be, with help from Gods word applied to your life.

Lets get started.....

"Mr. Visionary"

If you may, God is a Visionary, as seen in His person, the Holy Spirit. Some men are made in the image of that part of His nature. These men are usually shakers, changers, and dreamers. They can get the whole family wound up over peripheral issues and then decide to up and relocate with no thought of a job or housing. These issues may be worthy of ones committment, but, with their limited field of sight they tenaciously focus on single issues.

They often call for doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct, then call people to task for their inconsistencies. If they are not wise, they can be real meannies to push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.

But, most will just sit around and complain, but, in their souls they are visionaries.

Today, they are gifted men, inventors, street preachers, organizers, and instigators of any front line issue.

They love confrontation and don't like the status quo. The are the men who keep the world from getting dull or boring.

Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with his words, music, writing, voice, art, or actions. He is the "voice crying out in the wilderness".

Good intentions don't always keep visionary from causing great harm. They can stir up pudding and end up with toxic waste if they are not wise. An unwise wife can add to the poison with negative words, or she can, with simple words of caution, bring attention to the goodness of the pudding and the wisdom in leaving it alone. Every Mr. Visionary needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.

If you are married to one of these men, rich or poor you will be. He may invest all you have in a farm and then find out its worth nothing and sell for a loss and move again. If he works a regular job, he may either work half the time or work 80 hours a week. He might purchase something for next to nothing(your last $..?) with hopes of fixing it up and selling it for ooodles, just to find out, its cannot be fixed up and you have to pay for it to be taken care of. The list goes on and on, but, he may never be rich in money, but he will be rich in experience.

Please to remember, most men are a mixture of types not just one.

The wife of Mr. Visionary should be just a little bit reckless and blind in one eye if she is going to enjoy the ride.

Is this your man? If so, ladies you should learn 2 very important things, How to be flexible, and how to always be loyal to your man.

You will be amazed at how much fun life can be if you learn to just go with the flow------his flow!

If you can get it into your head that your husband does not have to be right to follow, your little world will suddenly be a delight. No more feelings of dred for the next adventure. This also, sets him free to make mistakes, without his "wifey" looking over his shoulder to give him "eyes" that speak ever too loudly.

Thomas Edison was one of these men. Just imagine with me, his wife, after he goofed or fell flat on his face for the 999th time....

The Visionary man needs his womans support. If your daddy was a Mr. Steady, now you are married to Mr. Visionary, it might just take a little time to adjust and a few arguments to figure this out. One will either stick to him or leave, lets hope its the first.

Imagine the mother-in-law watching all of this, and her little girl going through it!

Some talk about their new ideas until you get and everyone else gets tired of it, and then forgets about it in the next breath, and onto the next. He might look at it more critically later, but, for now, hang on for the ride. He will have a thousand ideas for every idea and "you knew it all along". OUCH!, say that the next time, and you will se him pull away, and away, and away. It might destroy your marriage, but, wont change him. He will share his "dumb" ideas with another..........

The way you think determines how you feel and how you feel determines how you act. It will be your face he will want to look into to see the marvel of what he has just shared.

You can be his most important fan. When you know your man really needs you... you can be happy with just about anything.

Over time, he will get more "down to earth", but, when you are first married, your parents might think, he is crazy, hang on and learn to apprecite him for his Visionary attributes, purpose in your heart to be loyal to him and BE FLEXIBLE, then let him dream. Lean back and enjoy the ride!

Our old world needs these men, for he seeks out hypocrisy and injustice and slays the dragons. He calls his self and those around to a higher calling and knows how to do nearly everything and is readily willing to advise others.

One of his greatest needs will be for his wife to think objectively(proven truth) and use common sense, which will keep his feet on the ground.He sweetie needs to stay in a positive state of mind, yet, never jump into his make believe world, trying to be too much of a cheerleader on dead-end issues. Let him burn out on things that are not wise. Let him find his own balance through bumping into hard realities. No rolling of the eyes here, or a non shalante' attitude.

He is sooooo intense that matters can easily get blown out of proportion.

WIFE; guard against negative conversation with others. An idle conversation by her can bring about the end of a lifelong friendship. This is true with all men, but, especially so with "Mr. Visionary". Search your own heart and look at your motive in what you say to others about your man. Do your words build him up, or do they build you up and make you look like "the poor mother with all these children"? Keep this kind of thing up and your man will get suspicious and withdraw from you and leave you wondering why?

A womans idle negative conversation can cripple a strong man and cause him be get angry...I did that...not knowingly, but, because my man is a "Mr. Steady"...my dad was a "Mr. Visionary"...what a contrast, and almost destroyed my marriage because of my lack of understanding. Now, I am learning to look at my DH as the man he is, not what my Dad was!

You could render him unteachable... God says a womans conversation can render him "saved or lost".

If you want your "Mr. Visionary" to become a strong and confident man, keep your conversation, "chaste", you want his friends and family to look upon him as that also.

1 Peter 3:1-2 says...."Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of their wives ; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."

WOW!!!!! What a verse, there it is in plain english....

So you take offense esily? Well, with "Mr. Visionary"....one needs not to...Are you tough?, I hope!...Don't forget to be full of life and joy, he likes that....He is not equipped to be a comforter, he needs you to be.

What a plate to fill, you think, yes, but with Gods help, you too can be that wife, "Mr. Visionary" needs.

Pray, Pray, Pray, and Pray some more, Listen to who is talking to you....

May all who read these, grow in the

grace of The Lord and learn how to be that WIFE for the man she is married to....

Terri

.................Wisdom to understand who it is that you are married to.........

Good Morning Ladies;

A wise woman learns to adapt to her DH...........

This morning, we want to take a look at the above title...

Who is it that I am married to?, you ask...It seem as if God has made basically 3 types of men, and your DH will be one a mixture of 2 or some of all three. God did this to express His very own triad nature. Jesus was the perfect "3".

Men are not within their God given realm when they try to be something they are not meant to be(as in their natures).

Lets take a look at the 3 types and you will probably easily identify where your man is and if you have been a blessing or not to him....

Lets get started.............

By the we young women get married, we have preconceived ideas about our very own "prince charming"....things that contribute to this are men she has known, books, and outside stimulas. With these preconceived ideas, it makes it real tough on our "prince"....in our minds, they will be "perfect",,,however, they will NEVER be and far, far from it. God gave each only part of His nature and not complete. Add in the fact that men are fallen creatures and a girl wonders why she would ever want to tie her very life to one of these sons of Adam. But, God makes us ladies to have a innate desire to want one of these men and our hormones are working overtime to bring that along.

What happens when a girl finds out that after a time, this "man" that she thought God brought into her life is not as perfect as she thought he was...........now, she spends alot of time trying to change him into what she thought he was suppose to be....what if he is a "lemon"? Maybe asking God for Wisdom, would be the needed reaction.

Wisdom is knowing what you "bought" when you married that man, and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be.

All men are not created equal, and are not what we have as the "prince" in our minds.Our men are created in the image of God, but, will NEVER come even close to that. Because they are only "created", no man can be even close to "perfect", or else, they would not need us frail, human, fleshly women.

God gives imperfect woman to imperfect man so they can be heirs together of grace and become something more "together" then either of them would ever be alone.

If one fights ones husbands inadequacies or seeks to be dominant where he is not, both of you will fail. If you love him, and support him with his inadequacies and without taking charge, both of you will succeed and grow.

Now onto the 3 types of men.............................

Mr. Command.....

God is dominant, a sovereign and all powerfull God. He is also a visionary- omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady-the same yesterday, today, and always. Most men epitomize one of these 3 aspects of God.

A "Command Man", will be the leader, they almost have more than their share of dominance. Many times they are chosen by other men to be preachers, heads of businesses, and other such leadership positions. They usually do more than is required of them also.

He will usually(not always), want his wife to coetow to his needs, and not have any outside interests(this can be tempered too!), but, not by our suggestions.

If you are blessed to be married to one of these men, the faster one learns to make appeal without challanging his authority, the faster you are on your way to "bliss".... They sometimes have less tolerance, walking off in a "huff", leaving his wife stamouring for what to say. A woman married to one of these men, can talk till she is blue in the face, and still have to sign divorce papers. His felings are hidden soo deep, one wonders if he has any?

He seems to be sufficient unto himself. It is awfuyl being shut out. A woman married to one of these men, has to earn her place in his heart, by proving that she will be there through thick and thin, faithful, loyal, and obedient. Whe she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme. She is on call 24 hours a day, her man, wants to know why, when and how she is doing, saying and whatever in her life. He may even criticize her without even knowing it.

A woman married to a "Command man" wears a heavier yoke than others but, it CAN be VERY rewarding. In a way, her walk with this man, is easier, because there is NEVER any way for her to be in control, no gray areas, she can have a sense of calm and safety.

He is also a chance taker, and because of that, God put these in as Kings. A Mr. Command man, sees the BIG picture and takes action, even if it costs him his life and the lives of those he loves. He will usually take financial loss in order to help those he loves, if he is honest, but, if not,.........he will be selfish and use the resources of others to further his own interests.

This man NEEDS his wifes admiration, to keep him on top(so to speak), without this admiration his victories are muted.

If you as his wife can learn to take a second seat, and if she does not take offensiveness to his head strong aggressiveness, then she will be sitting at his side being adored, however, the opposite is also true. She will be his closest and sometimes his only confidante.

Reverance is of utmost importance to this kind of man. Do not belittle his accomplishments, nor how he does them, or he will shrink into a puddle of.....?

If you are the wife of this man, and resist his control, well, you might be in for a horriably bumpy ride and stay married and miserable yourself.

He might even brag till all are sick of him if he has not been trained how to work. If he has no wife or children and has left that, he will be obnoxiously a braggert. He may be even abusive, in other ways.

PLEASE remember, how a "Command man" reacts depends highly on how much his wife reverences him(not always though). In marriages, sometimes, he is not getting respect and thus, conflict, strife etc. When a wife plays her part as a help meet, this man will react differently.

When a "Command Man", (lost or saved) is treated with honor and reverence, a good help meet will find that her man will be wonderfully protective and supportive. remember, he is a COMMAND man, a LEADER, and will usually organize "it" to get "it" done,he will notusually clean up after himself.

He will also be most uncomfortable with "death" situations.

Ladies, this is a lot to hear and digest, take it in, ponder it(think, think, think, pray, pray, pray) and what you need, God will give it to you....

Don't be afraid to act upon what ever God gives you, even if it seems stupid, if it is good for your marriage(outside of sin, of course), then act upon it.

PLEASE don't think I am purporting to sin...NO!!! But, God can change your heart one vein at a time, PRAY for His wisdom, and stick to it...things can change...

More tomorrow....."Mr. Visionary".............

Thanks and Love to all who read.....

Terri

~ Meek?~

~~~~~~~~~"MEEK?"~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning...

I pray Ican keep up the additions and sharing what is on my heart with you all.

It seem good to me to do this.

This morning, I awoke with.."meek"...on my heart.

This is what the Concordance and dictionary said;

"...not easily provoked or irritated, submissive to divine will, gentle, yielding, forbearing(theres that word again), humble, mild, and unassuming..."

WOW!!!! Theres a lot to be said about this word....May we take some of these words to heart in our every day lives and apply them.

You think, "I will never be able to get this all in my heart?"...your right, without the Holy Spirit, one is a "...sounding brass and a tinkling symbol...."

Get it deep in ones heart, so when one comes up against any given situation, one can go with God and display these fruits. Don't be too hard on oneself, one will not always have victory with these things.....but, one can "pull ones boot straps up and go again"......Jesus is waiting.....................

Much Love to any that read this blog.....

In Him.......

~~~***Terri***~~~

...............................bowels of mercies....

Hello Ladies...
As I was writing the other day, it struck me about Colossians 3:12...the words, "..bowels of mercies"....
What exactly does that mean?
I looked in the concordance and the dictionary...here is what I found..you know how you don't want to know what a word means in the Bible, well.....

"....Bowels..."....strengthed from...an inward affection plus tender mercy plus pity.
The dictionary;
heart, pity, tenderness, interior, guts.

"...Mercies..."....pity
The dictionary; forebearance(self restraint, endure), pity, compassion, forgiveness, mild, kind.

"bowels of mercies"...To be strengthed from an inward affection with tender mercy and pity, self restraint, compassion and forgiveness.

Sometimes we don't want to obey the Scripture, cause its hard, but, Our Lord and Saviour reminds us, '...that He will never give us more than we can handle, and along with it, a way out."

Lets press toward the mark of the high calling of Jesus Christ.

LOVE to each and everyone that reads, may you pray for the grace to apply it to your life.

Terri

Glowing with Love....

Just a quote for today Ladies;

"To have the heart glow with "mutual Love" is vastly better than to Glare with the most pompous titles, offices and powers."

A contented mama/grandma....forgiveness....

Eph.4:1-4,29, 31, 32, 5:22, Col. 3:12.

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers."

"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and calmour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God forgave you."

"Wives submit yourselves unto your own husband."

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering, forebearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ hath forgiven you, so also do ye."

I don't think I need to add to the Holy Scriptures....

Friends....PLEASE read and let it sink deep into your soul, let God do the work, He wants to.... and be the "Contented mama/grandma, god would have you be...

Much LOVE to you all....

Terri

Alone?

How was your week? Were you in turmoil? Was it a good week? Did you hurdle things the Lord has asked you too look at?

Have you been pondering the questions I place each week?

Dear friend/sister, PLEASE don't tune me out...try to listen....

"ALONE"

Lets look at the title "Alone"?

I am a mother, Grandmother and Sister in the Lord of Lords, I have been divorced and remarried, thus, this is how I understand what others are going through when the DH decides to "look for greener pastures"....

I hopefully am giving things that will "Help" in not going through this again....the big "D"!!!

i was alone for a few years, due not to my DH finding another...but, due to my being a critical, judgemental, unhappy wife, who was not happy with anything. NO wonder he left,,,,,coming home to a Grump(putting it mildly), every night. NO, he was not and never has been a so called Christian....oh, he attended a Church building, because I harped enough to coerce him Into walking into the building with me, to make it look like all was well, but, all was not.

I want to encourage you wives and all who read these words, not to give in to "HARPING", Grumbling, hatefulness towards your DH, pulling away either emotionally or physically, from him...IT DOES NOTHING to build your relationship.

Now, on with my story, I took for granted that marriage was this way and it never could get better, but, never thought He would leave me, his little "Wifey"....

I AM NOT saying you made him do what he is doing or what he did.....just that, you can change yourself and truly be happy even in the midst of the most awful circumstances.

These things that drives men away, are not really, in the face, right in front, out and out rightly, there, they are subtle.

When you Dh acts reAlly fleshly at home, (swearing, does things that a "Godly man" wouLD not do...) What do you do?

Do you pull away from him, roll your eyes at him, even in front of others. Why not PRAY, PRAY<>

If he fails your children, where is your heart? How do you respond,... with coldness, or unconditional acceptance OF HIM...

How about when he makes a statement or story, or recounting a incident, do you correct him, do you roll your eyes,...what is it that you puSh him away with?

What about if he acts like a jerk? How do you act?

Please remember, I did all these and more, so I know exactly what you are feeling....

My exhusband, acted like a real jerk most of the time, but, that gave me no authority to treat him with distain, unsubmissiveness and criticalness....

How do we make our man "suffer", when he hurts us? Or, do you?

When he spends money you think you don't have?,,,what then...When he wants to do something and you don't, Hardheartedness, will not draw him.

What about when he needs/needed you just to believe in him, did you? Do you keep his faults ever before him, reminding him "I told you so"....

Why is it we women think if we are standoffish, we will draw him, not so, he will more than likely turn the other way, to HER! If he hasn't, you are one woman, that better tell him how much you appreciate him and change your mind about him....

When he doesn't take the "lead" in your home, with neighbors or friends, How do you act?

How do you act when in the company of family and friends? Are you the martyr?

When he did not know how to show love, and I felt a void emotionally, I wish I had borne all things and hoped all things and loved him unconditionallly, instead of giving up inside and turning to others for emotional support. I never saw the need to endear myself to him. I took for granted that he would fulfill the husbands moral obligation to love me. I wish I had gone to "Gods Beauty School" for the whole woman.

After him leaving, the children and I were plunged into poverty, I could not make enough money then, 20 some years ago to keep food on the table, no sitters then, no $, my 9 year old daughter kept the children, got them ready for school and got them dressed, fed and clothed and ready to go to school....(much to my dismay, but, what else could I do?) Child support was unheard of and my car was a clunker, my rent was big, and the heat never went above 65....things slowly fell apart and then I began to...

Some of you can relate, and some not....do something, before you are this woman and Alone!

Today, there is a breed of women that do almost anything they can to make ends meet. Just trying to make it without a man around. Their dark circles around their eyes and never being home tells a story all to prominent in our society today. At least employers can depend on them, because they cannot loose their job! Always distracted, they are away in their thinking, thinking about all that needs to be done. Sometimes single moms team up, that helps greatly. Bitterness grows in their hearts though, as they watch happy couples and even 2nd time arounds....Now, What is wrong with this picture?

Do you think, they have to stay this way? NO!!!! I did not, I saw my need and changed it with Gods help, one cannot do it Alone...Only with Gods help and a born again experience can one change.

OH yes, remember all of this was not your fault, it was your husbands. Really?
Maybe you can change what it is that drove him away, wether emotionally, or physically.

I am going to write something,and you may just erase this Blog, but, I need to, remember all of these problems started when "you" got MAD at him for?........you got Mad at him for?.......

Or when you got MAD at him for?....................

I think your getting the picture....Then it all got worse, when he wanted you to do something and you were MAD...then he asked you a question and you were MAD....then he wanted you to do something intimately, and you wer still MAD!!!!

Do you patronize your spouse and treat as if he is a dumb kid? Because he really doesn't know? He really can't possibly be that stupid....you think....

Well, he IS NOT!!! MAY I?...tis you that is that stupid...for listening to the enemy of our souls, the enemy who will use anything to destroy mariages and people. Did you just seethe in hate for your DH yelling/swearing at the children?

Now, sister/Friend....what are you going to do this week? Try to remember NOT to criticize, attack, be distant, standoffish, or just plain MAD!!!!

Go the foot of the cross when this wants to happen, pray, pray, pray...dedicate your heart to the one who created you, Jesus Christ, and fall on your face in tears, to hear what the Lord of Hosts has for you!

He has soo much,. Listen....

He practices his faults, and you practice your mad attitude. well, you might both be practicing divorce if not halted.

Have you forgotten why you were created? Gods way works, yours will not....if not changed!

This is a hard lesson, but taken to heart will give you freedom, and joy in your heart of hearts. For a moment God has broken through your wall of excuses...why not try? What have you got to loose?

"Therefore, to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin". (James 4:17).

"But he that heareth, and doeth it not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great"(Luke 6:49).

"For God has not given us a Spirit of fear; but, of power, and of love, and of a sound mind'(II Timothy 1:7).

Lets practice Love and happiness, not being MAD!

What is Gods will for your life?

To be the best Helpmeet you can be?

Sin causes women to self destruct,because this self destruction is a slow, almost undescernable process, many women do not see the destruction coming until it is too late. This slow process often blinds awoman from seeing her part in this destruction, than she will repeat her mistakes....

Make a new habit....

Think of the thing that your husband does that irritates you the most....Now, can you tell yourself that this is really not as bad as my mind and self destruction is making it out to be? My critical attitude

is a far greater sin than his bad habits, I am guilty of disobeying the Word of God, when I do this. It is Gods business to direct my Dh and convict him, not mine.

Getting Serious....

Go back and reread this blog post, every time you see something that talks to your heart, ask yourself...is it I Lord?...and possibly NOT my Dh?

Than ask God to nudge your heart, when you fall into this trap again.

Are we still created to be His helpmeet?

Are we?

I think so, God has not changed.

Well, its been a few weeks without our study....maybe it's time to get on with it again.

My DH is home for the next few months and I did not realize how much it changed ones routine....I had it all planned to post on Monday, and then again, having DH home has changed my routine. So, I hope to get this next lesson posted before the end of the week.

How about what we studied the last time I posted, Did you work on making your DH smile?

Did you study the word "Joy"?

How have you woke up in the mornings?, have you tried to be happy?..I know with little ones, it is hard, but, think about it....

The title of this lesson is.........

"Wisdom"...

A wise woman is wanting to change and learn, she is never closed to changing in Her what she knows needs to be changed. She is not always thinking she is "always" right.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your DH just dissappeared one day? Whew!, you think, either that would be horriable, or maybe your thinking that would be great...there would be no more income, warm snuggles, free childcare, helping around the house a job away from the children(oh! These memories hurt me, almost too much to handle..), your little ones crying while you haveing to leave for work, the car is broken, the pipes break...the list can go on and on....YES!!!! this and more has happened to me, and millions of other single moms...and also, the childsupport you thought you were goping to get, suddenly stops(if you even get eany)...and THEN WHAT???????? Alone!!!!

Are you bitter and still angry, because of what that so and so did to you and your or "his" children? OH MY!!!! My dear, dear friend....your soul is being subtly and silently ebbed away from you in the most little of ways....your happiness wayyy down deep in your soul...you use to be bubbling over, now, you are silently critical of everyone that has a good marriage, you go a try to "help" others who are in your situation, all the while, hurting inside, and critical, resentful and many other feelings that are hidden, from "your" view.

I hope this has not already happened to you and you blame "HIM"! Yes, it takes 2 to tango, it takes 2 to make a marriage, but, with a resentful, angry, sad, dishonoring wife, that he comes home to and she is angry at him, and the children, almost every night, why wouldn't he make you a single mother?

Oh, he may not physically leave you, but, has he left you emotionally? Please dear friend.....listen as I share my experience with you, about what happened to me and how you can hope to change your marriage for the good, and the marriage God would have you to have.

NO, this is not a magic wand, that will all of the sudden change it all, but, these are tools and have been that can help...IF YOU choose to put them into practice...NO>>>>it will not happen overnight, it has taken me 2 years and a lot of apologies and asking for forgiveness, to get where we are today, but, it can't do anything but help....

Young mother....others will ask you what happened..and you tell them, HE left...but, where was your heart?..I am NOT saying, it was all of your fault, but, you can either draw your DH or push him further away by who you have you to be. Are you still trying to play the Holy Spirit, you think...."I just said.....(you fill in the blank).....How many times have you "just said",,,the same thing....Isn't that being the Holy Spirit? Last night, my Dh was reading something I felt uncomfortable with, I have not said anything up until lastnight....I just said"Hun, I really don't feel comfortable with you reading so and so"...He asked why and I said, "I just didn't think a a Christian should read that, and added, I am not trying to tell you what to do, just sharing my heart"...(with NO body language, I am still learning that...)...He continued on reading whatever He was reading and I HAD TO leave it, no more said....no body language, or rolling my eyes, or subtle suggestions....That is leaving it to the Holy Spirit, not ME being the Holy Spirit....Get it?

If we don't let the HOly Spirit do His work, we are dishonoring our DHs....

Marriages can survive other subtle things and some not so subtle, if the wife honors her DH...but, when and if Mother dishonors Daddy, few marriages make it. Your attitude has the most to do with all of this, the children feel it, so why wouldn't Dh feel it? Lower your expectations(of profit by "will",[whos will, yours?]) and permit yourself to love and honor your DH, your children will feel that too....so will DH!

Not saying your standards(rule used for comparison) should be lower.....but, your dishonor and nagging(even in your thoughts) will drive him to the other woman.

I do remember when God brought this to me, how my thoughts about my DH truly make me act it out...if my thoughts are dishonoring(begrudging his every step, because it's not the way "I" would do it, say it, or think it,) then my actions and words come out "barbed". Holding your thoughts and tongue will possibly hold your man.

Lets work on our thoughts..using the last few studies and ideas I have posted, lets try to be happy, have JOY, hold our thoughts(taking them into captivity), and last but absolutely NOT least.....PRAY!!!

Really, Really, kGod to help you in your hearts of hearts....ask Him to Hold your tongue and your thoughts....even if you really don't want to....

Next weeek, we will look at "Alone"!

Rememer, I pray for each and every one that reads my blog....

Love to you all of my Friends, until next week....

Terri

Complaining....

~~I just watched a video of a man that has no arms nor legs, and he was a powerful encouraging speaker....He used what he had and went on..How many of us complain because we don't have this or that, can't do this or that...I wonder if it all has to do with, how we see things?

~~Can we not do with what we have, and not complain?http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong
~~This man has no arms nor legs and has courage....
~~Type it in and look...it needs a .html at the end and it is a video....

LOVE ...TERRI