The Nature of Man and Woman.....

Good Morning......did not get to this yesterday, so today.....Time flies way too fast, and things have been hectic here,,,,the enemy of our souls has been terrible busy in our home, Lets remember each other in Prayer.

This week the title is...

"The Nature Of Man And Woman"..

Man was created to subdue; woman to assist....God made them that way. God created man with a nature that is aggresive, and then commanded him to exercise dominion over the earth(Gen. 1:28). He created the male with an extra dose of testosterone, which provokes him to want to work hard, conquer everything in his path, and subdue all things. That is why the male is at the forefront of conquests, exploration, architecture, science, inventions etc. No woman would ever go out and tame a wild horse and make a rope out of its mane and tail, and then go find a bear and lasso it just to prove that she could----laughing the whole time.

If women were the inventors, they would make minivans. Men make 4 wheel drive vehicles and then modify them so they will stand higher and drive faster. They will even put a winch on the front so they can traverse places meant only for alligators and mountain goats. Men fly to the moon, climb treacherous mountains, fight wild beasts, challange each other at any sport, and laugh with hilarious delight the whole time. They like to play or watch games where they knock each other down, just to prove they can. Everything they do must end with a testosterone driven climax. And they think we ladies are hard to understand! A woman can do about everything a man can do, but it is always the men who invent it and then eventually invite the ladies along just to make it more interesting. Testosterone again!!! A few ladies will always step out and play the mens games, trying to prove a gender point. The men don't need a point to prove; they just need to vent. Men are different, we must face it.

Thankfully, men and women were not created alike. Men were created with traits that I do not want as part of me!!! But, when I married, it was of course, to one of these strange male creatures with those wierd traits. When we ladies discover traits in a man like sensitivity, spirituality, and understanding, we are thrilled, because they contrast so starkly with the many coarser and visible traits that so strongly drive his nature. After all, having a nature to subdue all things, he likes best, a woman who will give him a token struggle and then surrender totally to his wit, charm, and strength. He must thoroughly conquer. It is a battle I always enjoy losing, I like to be conquered by my man, that is the way I am created. Think about it ladies, if we are created that way, why, do it any other way? We will fall into this createdness, if we but, allow it.

The Woman Deceived...

When Adam was created and placed in the garden, Lucifer, the fallen cherub, was jealous of Adams position as master of the renewed planet. Lucifer, having become the devil, had previously made himself the enemy of god and his program. He did not want God to be successful at replenishing the earth. From the very beginning, it was in the devils dark heart to lure Adam into disobeying his Creator. Satan would make Adam into the same rebel that he himself had been for such a long time. but satan did not approach Adam. He waited and watched....

When God finished Adam, he gave the job of naming all the animals to him. He commanded the first man not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and he told him to subdue the earth and have dominion over the animal kingdom. His principal job was to dress and keep the garden(Gen. 2:15). So, even before Eve was created, Adam was a full grown man, firmly rooted in his relationship with God and fully engaged in his lifes work.

Adam was alone for a period of time as he attended to his vocation and obeyed the command of his Creatos. In going about the task of ulfilling his duties, he became aware of a need that he could not define, even though he observed it daily in the male and female behaviour of the animals. He was lonely. He had no one with whom to share his conquests. God, in watching Adam, said, "It is not good that the man should be alons; I will make him an help meet for him"(Gen. 2:18). In time, God put Adam to sleep and took a rib from him to make of it a woman to be his helper and to meet his needs.

Satan could have tempted this lonely man at any time, for he had no knowledge of good and evil. But satan waited---waited for the created weaker vessel. "For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam wasnot deceived, but the woman being deceived was inthe transgression"(1Timothy 2:13-14). Satan knew that the man co uld not be deceived, but, the woman could. Hmmmmmmm....it WAS us!!! So, when she drew near to the tree, he convinced her that life would be better if she sought the higher state of being "like the gods"---gaining spiritial insight into the nature of good and evil. Eve was deceived in 3 WAYS:

1. She followed her flesh in desiring the tree for its food properties.

2. She succumbed to its beauty, desiring it for its pleasant appearance She did not follow logic, she follower her "sensibilities."

3. She wanted "deeper" spiritual insights than those provided by God.

the source of Eve's failure was her UNWILLINGNESS to believe God and her husband.

Do you do this? It is misery when we step out of this protection. Oh, God will let us, but, we will reap the consequences, a marriage that is the pits, and maybe not that bad, but, not quite right. Our hearts will take the lead, and our DHs will let us(most anyhows), and we will also take the consequences for that. Ladies lets follow, follow, follow...God can and Will show you the right path to take if you will but listen.

She was meant to be Adams helper, but she helped herself to Spiritual knowledge and acted independently, becoming his downfall instead of his helpmeet.

Why did satan avoid Adam and approach Eve with his offer of greater spirituality? Lucifer is a male being(Isaish 14:12-20). He understands the natural resistence of the male. He knows males say "no" just to prove they are in command. But Lucifer could see this soft, sweet female was vulnerable. God had made her by nature to be responsive, and she trusting and naive. Being willing to rationalize, she could be deceived---having the best of intentions.

In my mind, I picture the man being created heavily armoured. His armour is helpful both Spiritually and physically. God loaded him down with resistances, giving him a nature that is doubtful, skeptical, forceful, and pushy(for the most part). God knew that in order for man to survive, and even prosper, he would need a natural armour that would drive him to keep pushing against the odds, while enjoying the challange. God knew that satan was a liar and the master of deceit, so he crated in man a questioning about things. Mans objectivity and lack of intuitiveness make him appear less spiritual than the sensitive, female. As a general rule, man is ruled more by his mind than the female, who is goverened more by her sensibilities.

Picture God, as deliberately creating the woman without this armour, because he intended for her to stand beside her husbands armour. He was to be her covering, her shield, and her protector. Satan was ble to deceive her when she left Adams side and confronted the Devils logic alone. She didn't have the armour to ward off his fiery darts of deceit.

God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother had to be vulnerable, the outer shell thin. She must be quick to feel, hurt. love, have compassion, to take in the broken, and to believe the best. Vulnerability is a womans greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness. A woman CAN become tough and hard, skeptical, and cautious in relationships just like men. She can become guarded and cynical, but in so doing, she is no longer feminine, no longer attractive to a man, and she might even start to not like herself.Unprotected by the covering of her man, she will grow miserable fighting her own battles and trying to survive on equal footing with men.

I find this very interesting.....If we are created this way, and we fight against it, how can we be happy? We will, put on a good face, be happy on the outside, but, to really be happy outside of what God created us.....How can we?

Look at our world today, the same female sexes together..... In their attempt to shed their vulnerability and their not wanting to be what they were REALLY created for....they begin to exhibit traits totally outside their created feminine nature. They lose their beauty and charm, and become very poor "men".(Scripture says this).

I thnk...we will. continue tomorrow, my fingers are tired........

Think on this..Ladies. Gods word is His word, not mine...lets begin to see our man for what God created Him to be and our role where it needs to be.

See you tomorrow.......

Love Terri......

Reactions Define You!!!!!

This is my 2nd attempt at writing this morning.....my computer just blanked out and I was almost finished with this ...now to start over......

A wise woman does not dream of what "could have been". She does not see herself as "Gods" gift to her man, therefore, she is joyful and content in whatever cinrcumstances she finds herself in....
By the time you married, you already had ceratin convictions. You knew right from wrong. you did what you thought was right, and no one could persuade you differently. But, now you find yourself and your convictions challenged by someone who may not share your established standards and worldview. He may be more liberal than you, more permissive, or he may be stricter and more more legalistic. The presence of children further complicates the situation. You want desperately to do what is right for them, but you have submitted yourself under the authority of another. Life is not going the way you had planned, and you cannot react in the way you wanted to. You find yourself pushed to the limit of your patience, and then you react in unsubmissive and selfish anger.
Reactions are not premeditated actions springing from our best motives, carefully thought our, planned, weighed. They are emotional responses, breaking lose like wild horses when we feel hurt, cheated, used or misunderstood. They are often are retalitory, sometimes condemning, confrontational, or adversarial and eventually vengeful and punishing.
Your reactions break you loose from your social inhibitions and manifest who you really are inside and what you really believe at your core level.
We loose our carefully preserved "front" when we are pressed beyond our own thinking. Then,who we really are is made manifest.
You can control your future reactions considerably by changing the way you think you feel, and it will determine how you will react in stressful situations.
Researchers have determined that the average person thinks over 40,000 thoughts per day. The heart is filled with these thoughts, and it is out of that reservoir of thoughts that the mouth speaks, be it good or bad. When the pressure is on, and the dam of resevation breaks loose, you cannot control what you say, because you will speak from the abundance of your heart---from the 40,000 thoughts you had that day and all the days before.
"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh"(Luke 6:45) If you, as s wife, are going to change the way you have been speaking, it is not a matter of willpower; it is a matter of thought ower. "For as he thinketh in his heart, so IS he..."(Prov. 23:7). You must bring "into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"(II Cor. 10:5). "For out of hte heart proceed evil thoughts..."(Matt. 15:19). As Paul says, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus"(Phil. 2:5).
You will ve "transformed by the renewing of your mind"(Rom. 12:2), not by the strength of your will to hold your tongue. God tells us HOW to think about our role as wife and help meet. If you believe him, you will think diferently.......
If I were in a airport baggage pick up area waiting for my red suitcase, and I saw a young man snatch it and run, I would be very upset UNTIL I learned that my husband sent him to get it for me. When my thinking changed, my emotions changed.
The lady married to the accountant gone Dairy farmer was sitting at home angry because her husband was late. When he finally arrived, he went directly to the barn to take care of his cows. She couldn't hold her tongue. She couldn't help the way she felt, because she had spent the entire day, no, the entire week....month.....last 3 years, thinking how miserable whe was for the circumstances her husband had barought upon her....She felt HER "red suitcase" was stolen. "This was not what we greed upno when we got married"......"He should come in and eat the supper that is already cold from waiting, not go out and milk first..."she had reapeated to herself for the last 3 hours when it was obvious he wa late.....She was storing up in her heart an abundance of selfish thoughts. Her actions and reactions became enslaved to her misguided thoughts.
What could she do to change her thoughts? She coul learn something she does not know, not just from this bookd advice, but, from Gods Holy Word....The Bible....
She was not created to choose her husbands vocation, nor to choose his or her lifestyle. She was created by God to be her husbands helper. In her case, that meant becoming a country girl----dairymans helper. that doesn't mena she has to like cows, but she was created to help the man who does like cows.
Think how differnet it would be if, when he was 3 hours late, she thought about how blessed she is that he comes home every night and brings a paycheck, he IS home every night, she can crawl into a warm bed at the end of a day without being lonely, has a daddy to her children and the future of more cows, milking equipment and possibly a rise in milk prices.....How thrilling her life would be.......An adventure, not stagnate.......Many a woman is sitting alone at 7 in the evening, afraid that her ex will break in her apartment and steal the children..and where will she and her children will move next month, or how will she pay the bills?.......She and many, many others would love to sit in the "dairymans" ladys kitchen, waiting peacefully for her grassroots husband to come in late for supper, only to go out and tend his cows. When he did come through door, his dinner would be warm and the smiles and hugs would be warmer, with a promise of a even warmer bed.
You are what you think, and God tells you how to think. THINK THE TRUTH!!!
This is not the power of positive thiking: this is the power of the truth as God defines it.
You are created to be your husbands helper, not this conscience, not his vocation director, and certainly not his critic.
When you develop and adversarial relationship with your husband, you do so on the premise that you are right and he is wrong...OUCH!!!!.,....You are also assuming that you have the duty to resist, confront, and challenge him. In thinking he is wrong and you are right, you declare yourself wiser than he, more spiritual, more discerning, more sacrificial, etc.
All this adds up to the obvious conclusion that you have assumed the role of his leadership, teacher, and judge. This is sinful and odious, and it displeases God greatly. No woman will ever have peace and joy until her mind is filled with goodwill toward her husband, and she is committed to becoming a good help meet for him. Is much of your life a reaciton to real or perceived wrongs? Are you truly as wise as you think?
Take this test to see....................

Wisdom Test..........
1. Do you have enough fear of God to not question his Word?
2. Do you sometimes feel God is punishing you by telling you to obey your husband?
3. Would you give God excuses like, "My husband is mean," or, "I am a strong personality, and he is weak"?
4. How would you respond if God gave you directions on how to talk, when not to talk, or how to dress or even wear your hair?
5. Are you comfortable with dismissing the Bibles role for women by saying we live in a different culture?
6. When God says to reverence(meaning, stand in awe of)your husband, do you think that is demanding too much?
7. Will you say, "If God says it, or even suggests it, than that is what I will do"?

If you can say, "Not my will, but thine be done," then you can know that your prayer is based on the fear of God. It is the beginning of wisdom. Ask God to give you the beginning of wisdom by asking him to teach you to fear him.

Time to Consider........
WE have larned that our created nature is to be a help meet to our husband.
We have learned that a help meet is someone who helps herhusband in any and all of his life projects.
We have leatned that the jou ot the Lord is our strength and that a merry heart is a real asset in becoming a godly help meet. A smile keeps our man looking our way. Our desire is to become a jolly "playmate" to our husband and to be an heir with him of the grace of life.
All of us have decided that we do not want o grow old and become crazy old, religious fanatics who think that they are obeying God while disregarding his written Word. We have learned that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and we shudder to think we might have ended up being like some of the old reprobates we know tho dishonor their husbands.
We have learned that wisdom is a gift that God promises to anyone who asks. Through wisdom, we have discovered that eachof our husbands are made in the image of God, either as xommand men, Visionarys or Mr. Steady or a mis of all three.
We know that it is our job as a help meet to always be looking for ways to better meet ourhusbands needs and desires.
Believe you me, I know this is NOT easy........we had a something this morning...it was exactly what this page is aboaut today, now,,,,I have to ask myself....How will I deal with it...first, I apalogized, then we still got nowhere...then I confessed and tried to change my mindset, still to no avail,,,,so her we are at a standoff......
On my knees, I go...an into prayer for Gods wisdom and not my own......
Now it is time for us all to go back and add to the list the tings you could be doing that will free your husband to be the man god created him to be...
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! this will not be easy, but, with Gods help and Him doing the changes, I too, can be"Created to be His help Meet".

Lets not give up Ladies....
Love to all who read this blog....
Terri

continue on "Finding your life in His..."

Now a continuation on yesterdays postings...............

Has your Dh decided to take a different path in his career than you want?God didn't create Adam and Eve at the same time and then tell them to work out some compromise on how they would each achieve their personal goals in a cooperative manner. He created Adam, gave him an occupation, appointed him as ruler of the planet, endowed him with a spiritual outlook, gave him commands, and specified his occupational duties. Adam commenced his rule of the planet BEFORE God created Eve to help him in his lifes goals. Adam didn't need Eves consent. She was designed to serve, not to be served, to assist, not to veto his decisions. Can you imagine Eve saying; " When God brought me to you in that wonderful garden, and we commenced life together, you never said anythng about thorns and thistles, about pain in childbirth, about milking goats, cows or whatever, about churning butter and I am not a wildernessgirl!"

I wonder how your DHs feel when you are essentially saying these things? Will your unhappy DH loose his joy over the whole matter?, and be robbed of his vision? If he does go back to being what he was before he got this "vision"....will he spend the rest of his life, dreaming? Dreaming of a different kind of lady for a wife?, a bunch of happy children, and the rest of his dream?...just like the Grandpa in yesterdays words.

LIFE IS NOW!!!! Don't make him ruin his life by being forced(by you and your control)into doing "your" thoughts, do it his way, make him happy..Find your life in his!!!!

God made us women to be helpmeets, and it is in our nature to do so....It is the role in which we will succeed in life, and it is where we will find our very greatest fulfillment as a woman. God did say in Genesis; "I will make him an help meet(not head of the home) for him." 1 Corinthians 11;8 & 9 says that also...Genesis 3:16 says..."Unto the woman he said....and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee..."

When we fight Gods will and our DHs dreams, we are frustrated and disappointed.

If our DHs are kind steady men,(like mine) they will eventually become discouraged and give up trying to please us, (I am glad to have sae the right light before this happened!) If our DHs are Command men, they may leave us behind and find the kind of woman that loves what they love. If our DHs are Visionary men, they will yell and make our lives miserable until we run back to mama and end up sleeping in a cold bed and living on food stamps or less.

Life is full of choices. How you choose to respond will help you decide your fate in life. Life is NOW! Learn to really enjoy taking our the trash or milking the cow(ask God to help you and make you willing). You will be amazed at how God will fill you fulll of himself. You will look back(and I do)in your happy old age, and wonder how this happened, how you ever could have been a long faced sad sack, how you ever "did that" to your DH...how anyone else could have stood your atatitudes and control?

Now they may say, "You are just happy....why?" And you know what to say....

You can now laugh..... and knowing that you are in Gods will as a Helpmeet. that is what brings you life and Joy, being in HIS will, what you are created for...God is not looking for happy women to make them into help meets for good men....He is looking for women willing to be true help meets to the men they are married to......HE can fill them with His joy!!!!!!!!

His express image........

We have studied 3 different types of men and how each one relates the the lady in his life. WE have learned that God gives wisdom for you to come to know, accept, and appreciate, the man in your life. He may be all 3 or a mix of 2 or just one. The important thing is for you to understnad that he is what God made him, and that you are to be his suitable helper. Knowing what "expression" God has made him to be will help you become a better helper to the man of your life. God says so clearly and emphatically that "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth ato all men[and women] liverally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him'(James 1:5).

Ask The Lord of your life to help you know and appreciate your DH. Pray that God will give you the wisdom and grace to share your mans dreams so it will always be you that he dreams about....

TIME TO CONSIDER>>>>

Wisdom is knowing what you "bought", when you married that man and learning to adapt to him as he is, while enjoying the full value of your "purchase".....

Make a new habit....

Is it Gods will that yor DH adapt to you, or hat you adapt tohim? What habits in your life should yo adapt to his? Start today....

Getting serious about this whole thing...

The word WISDOM appears 223 times, hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder why?

Look up and read each one and ask that God will do a work in your heart and your "WILL". Add to your memory your favorite verses about Wisdom. Each day resolve that you will pray for your DH....the same time every day...(at a red light, washing dishes...)

This really works, it has turned my marriage upside down...

Love to all....

Terri

Finding your life in his..........

Hello Ladies and others.........tis time to go on with our study about "Created to be His helpmeet"..

Lets go on.

There was once a show called "Dad"...It told of a woman/wife that controlled the man/husbands every move, he could not even pour the milk on his cereal......they got old and the son came home to take care of them in their old days...the old woman spent her entire life taking care of her "Mr. Nice, Steady" husband...

Then she got sick and spent some time in the hospital, when she came home, her "Mr. Nice, Steady" husband was a changed man...during her absence he had began to to places, and doing fun things, the clock had seemed to be turned back 50 years, he was happy now...you seee....he was ready to live out what he had dreamed about for 30 years in his mind while working in the same old factory...

He talked of friends and family that never existed, their 4 children, when there was only 2, He spoke of his much loved, gentle and obedient wife, quite different from the reality he had experienced over many, many years. His wife was terribly shaken, because she knew that never existed, no dairy farm, no 4 children,...she also knew the woman he remembered was not her.

All the years at the factory and "dreaming "of what he really wanted for his family and wife,,took a toll on him, the psychologist explained. He now lived in the very world he had dreamed about for years. As Grandfathers mind aged, the pleasant make believe world he had dreamed about had become reality to him, and the "caged" life that he had really lived faded away....

Because of his wifes controlling hand and his desire to do "his duty" and please her, he had failed to live his dreams. She had weakened him with her control and criticism until he created and imaginary world of hope and fullfilment.

Oh, ladies, as I type this, my heart breaks again for how I treated my DH...Do you treat yours with distain, because he is not the MAN you want him to be...well, then quit treating him like that....treat him with respect, reverence and honor as you want and he will blossom,,,he will make you his queen.....

I cannot go on today, for my heavy heart and the memories that pour back with this part of the study.....

Please stay with me though......next Monday will be more.....

Love to all who read this....

Terri

A heart of rest and usefullness.....

Hello all....

I have a subject on my mind, so here it goes....

We can get so hard in our hearts. As we go through life, thinge come up. We rise up in our own way. Sometimes we lose God in our own ways. We jsut need to break and give it all to God. Its a hard path sometimes, but its such a beautiful path. May God keep us broken. I want to be a broken woman, don't you? Sometimes we break and become useful, then we become proud and we have to be broken again. We do need a daily breaking to stay soft and pliable in the Lords hands.

When our hearts break, our "rights" are gone. A broken and contrite heart brings a rest to our hearts and lives. Jesus said,"Come to me if you are heavy laden and need rest." Gods children need rest. We need rest in our hearts. How do we get it? Jesus said,"Learn from me, for I am meek and lowely of heart." In meekness, that is in brokeness. In meekness and lowliness is where we find rest. We are at peace with God.

When our heart breaks, our life becomes silent. Ther is a lot more silence than there is speaking. I have noticed that. Deeply broken people are generally a quiet people.

Look at the silence of Jesus when He was in the judgement hall. People were after Him, saying all kinds of things about Him. What did He do? He was silent, unless He wanted to identify who He was. There is a distanct difference. When He was accused, He was silent. When He was asked who He was, then He spoke. He was concerned about His identity with God, the Father, but not about His reputation.

We are so protective of our reputation. We are so concerned about what others think about us, but Jesus wasn't. We need to protect God's testimony in our lives, but not our reputations. When men speak evil against me, I want to fight back, go hunt them down, see who said it......When our heart breaks, we leave the fight to God. God can do it. If God wants to hunt that person down, then let Him hunt it down......the TRUTH always stand. When the heart breaks, the fight is over.

Usually when something is broken it becomes useless, but when the heart breaks IT becomes usefull. In the church of Jesus Christ, everything must be brought to death, and then, through resurrection power, be rivived. Jesus' first miracle, that miracle of turning water into wine, didn't happen until the old wine was finished. Then the new wine came, then the miracle.

If you don't see the work of God in your life, if youre not where you want to be, then what you need to do is finish, let your heart break with the things that break the heart of God. Then, in His power, He can put you together again, His way.

God needs to do a deep work of breaking in our hearts. Our visions may collapse right in front of our very eyes. But, have you looked at Joseph? He had a dream, God had showed him that he was going to be a leader. How do you think he felt when his brothers threw him in that old pit? Do you think he thought about his leadership? There he was, down in the pit. His vision collapsed right in front of his eyes. Later he was in prison....how can he ever lead in prison? God brings vision to nothing, so that He can raise up His way in us. Thats the life of brokeness.....

When the heart breaks, hiding our inner poverty is over. Some of us would probably not want everyone to know the inner poverty in our life-how shallow we really are in our Christian walk. Wou you like everyone to know how you rally are? Sometimes we try to hide, but when the heart breaks, we no longer care who sees it....We just want to be different. We WANT TO CHANGE. We WANT to get close to the Lord......

Have you had hurts in your life? I have. Those deep hurts can make us bitter or better....It depends if the "I" is in it or not....God wants to bring those diffeculties in our lives to break us down to nothing, so that He can raise up His power in us. There is tremendous power in being broken......But, ITS SOOOOO PAINFUL!!!!

God wants broken hearts. When a Church is a Church full of broken hearts, you will see a Church that has peace amongst it's people. Your going to have rest in your hearts and souls, Your Church will be peaceful. You will want to reach out to others and not keep it unto yourself. There is something sooooo sweet and beautiful aboaut brokeness.....but,,,,its not going to be easy..its hard.

May I encourage you to give your all to God with no reserves...all of who you are or are not, all of who you want to be and don't want to be, your dreams and aspirations.......give HIM all.......May God break our hearts with the things that break His...may we trust,,and not be afraid to let him be God......

Love to you.............

Terri

..................Let it be the hidden person of the heart....

~~~~~~~~Good marriages don't just happen~~~~~~~

Good morning all who read..

It had snowed again, only 1 inch this time, but, I have a few words to open this morning as an encouragement to all of you.

Our marriages need to be carafully, loved, and cared for also nurtured. They don't just happen. The health of your relationship with your spouse effects sooo many more than just the 2 of you. When you marry, you begin to build something bigger than either of you can see at that moment(remember the butterflies). the family you want to build deserves more than either of you alone can do. It is your commitment; NOT LOVE; that will build it to outlast the storms of marriage that we all go through.

So...on this Valentines day(just to use this day)as every day, I want to encourage you to give your husband and family something that will make your whole family(all who you are around) outlast flowers or candy, that will make your whole life happier. Something that is a matter of the heart......

Something that you cannot do alone......

Your probably thinking, ya, ya, ya,.........she's going to talk about the same old thing, your RIGHT!!!! I am......about the God that created this old world.....that created even you.

Fall on your knees...and ask "Him" tohelp you change and make it better.

The mothers heart is the childs classroom....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Grace Sufficient

So many burdened lives along the way!

My load seems lighter than most I see,

And oft I wonder if I could be brave,

Patient and sweet if they were laid on me.




But God has never said that He would give

Another's Grace without another's thorn;

What matter, since for every day of mine

Sufficient grace for me comes with the morn?




And though the future brings some heavier cross

I need not cloud the present with my fears;

I know the grace that is enough today

Wil be sufficient still through all the years.



Annie Johnson Flint

Hello Ladies...

Just a note to all of you that read this blog......

Thank-you for reading it....it is in my heart to minister to those who need it, whether old or new...Today, many, many women have noone to share with, talk to, or learn from.

We will continue our notes on "Reverencing our husbands."

Then onto teaching some basic HOMEY skills....

stay tuned for what is to follow on my blog...

Encouragement.....

Good Morning...............
I am writing this morning, to encourage anyone who is down. No matter what circumstances life finds you, there is one who can and will carry you through. Even when it seems all is lost, your heart is broke and nothing in the world fills that empty void. It seems that at that very moment, one cannot go on any longer, if one would cry out to that one who is bigger than all ones problems, Jesus......one can go on.............
Remember the Scriptures that will lift you up, call someone that can even help you through a tough time. Sing, read the Bible, but, giving up...."NO!", cry out to Jesus again, He will deliver........

Hello Ladies......

Just a note.... What I post is a combination of what I have read over the years and my own experience...not at all, the "Gospel"...I am sooooo glad for blogs....one can say what one wants in any way one wants.

I just hope and pray, what I have gathered over many, many years of "learning"....has been a help to someone. Much of it, is from the school of hard knocks....

It may not work for everyone, but, hopefully for one, who can make it work for them.

Love to all who read this and blessings.....

Terri

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mr. Steady.....

Good Morning to all of you who read this blog;

May Gods Peace truly sink deeeeeep into your inner recesses and a "Do not disturb" sign has been placed where the enemy of our souls can see....

We are continuing on with our readings of the 3 basic types of men, this one being the last but surely not the least...

Today is on "Mr. Steady".....

Lets go on.........

God is as steady as an eternal rock, caring providing and faithful like Jesus. He created some men like that.....The steady man does not make decisions or spend his last dime ona new idea, and he doesnt tell other people what to do. He will avoid confrontation at all costs. He doesn't invent things, but, will build the factory to invent them in. Managing the assembly line is right up his alley. He will not jump in front to lead, but will if encouraged to do so. He will quietly ignore things in others that drive Mr. Command and Mr. Visionary crazy. As a general rule, he will be faithful in the same house, car(unless it quits) and the rest of his life will stay the same till the day he dies. Those of us who have learned the peace and safety of this kind of steady man, want to keep him, but, they are rarely available. He will also be content to be with the wife of his youth their whole lives.

Joys and Trials....

Being married to this kind of man has it's joys and trials........on the good side. he never puts undue pressure on anyone, you rarely feel pressured, hurried, pushed, of forced.

When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him.

A bossy woman may not see his cautiousness as a attribute, she wants it NOW! You may think he is wishy-washy and only a follower because of his lack of hasty judgement. There is no exciting rush in him, just letting others USE him, but, his slow steady nature probably keeps you and him out of alot of fixes. When you need him to just tell you what to do, he wont.

Some woman see all of these as a lack of Spiritualness, when it is the exact opposite. His lack of spontaniety and open boldness looks unspiritual, however, he is deeeeeeep, like a deeeeep s l o w flowing river that leads to rapids(that may be you). He may look like he is unmoving, but, nevertheless, he is very strong.

Dissappointment and unthankfullness can make you wearier than any amount of duties. The trials he SEEMS to cause you are really your discontented responses to what you consider to be his shortcomings. If you didnt attempt to change him into something other than what God created him to be, he would not cause you such grief. His very steadyness keeps him on his middle-of-the-road course, it WILL drive a CONTROLLING WOMAN CRAZY!!!!!(Is that woman you?)

If you are married to this kind of man, who is kind, loving and serving(maybe not all), then you are likely to end up looking like an unthankful shrew. He helps you, adores you, protects you, and is careful to provide for you, and you are still not satisfied. Shame on who?

When you come to really understand your man as God created him, then you will STOP trying to change him. The KEY is to know your man. If he is Mr. Steady, then, you want to learn to be thankful and to honor him as the one created for you in the image of God. A man who is created steady brings peace and safety to a womans soul. (Heb. 13:8) His gentleness is NOT a weakness, IT IS HIS STRENGTH!!! Your husbands indecision is not indecision. Your husbands lack of deep spiritual conversation is not a lack of caring, it is simply the cap on the mountain of intense emetions. If he ever speaks of how he does feel, he will most likely become teary...REJOICE!

He is all too willing to hear you(Prov. 20:5).

Is this your man?, then you need to learn to stand still(for a minute or more) and listen. Ask God to give you a shamefaced spirit, quiet and gentle. Stop expecting him to perform for you. Pray for him to have wisdom and STOP trying to make him into what he can never be.

ALLOW him to be the still, quiet, thoughtful presence------just for you!!!

Seek his thoughts on what to do, BUT>>>>>wait for the answers, he will think about it.

A STEADY man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet, take her own innitiative when needed.He enjoys a woman being a "Proverbs 31" woman. But, laziness discourages him. He needs a resourceful woman with dignity and honor. It is important to Mr. Steady that his wife is able to be self-sufficient in all the mundane things of daily living, like paying bills, making appointments and entertaining guests with ease. At the end of the day, Mr. Steady will enjoy weighing what he has accomplished with what you have accomplished and will rejoice in the value of having a worthy partner in life.

Sometimes these men are among the most important in the Church, they make well thought out, wise decisions.

The children can grow up to honor their gentle speaking dad if mother HAS NOT degraded this Mr. Steady to the point, the children dissrespect him.

He will not talk about himself as Mr. Command and Mr. Visionary might. He will wait for others to call him(always in need) and then will be proud(to himself) of others calling him for this and that.

When you as a wife dishonor a man like Mr. Steady, you WILL see him shrink, into a puddle, walk as if he has a 10 ton weight on his back and turn you off more often than not....why not?...he cannot live up to YOUR expectations...

To others he is mediocre and lacks strength and authority, when in actuality, he lacks a respectful wife.

Of all 3 types of men, this one will be liked by everyone.

LADIES>>> this is my DH....I treated just like the above says not to and watched him shrink and act like a 50 ton weight was on his back, not understanding that he LOVES ME SOOOOO MUCH, that he did not want ot hurt me when I treated him like this. Now, HE IS MY Mr. Steady, and walks upright as s man proud of his marriage and wife....

THIS TOOK TIME, and does not happen overnight, but if you can grasp what I have typed...then you wil be well on your way to having a glorious relationship and marriage with your Mr. Steady. You can truly be his Helpmeet!!!!

"Ruination" Wifes summary.....

~~~~~The wife of Mr. command can ruin her marriage by failing to honor, obey and reverence her husbands authority.~~~~~

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Visionary can ruin her marriage by failing to follow, believe and participate as an enthusiast in her husbands dreams and visions.~~~~~

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Steady can ruin her marriage by failing to appreciate, wait on, and be thankful for her husbands pleasant quilities.~~~~~

"Successful" Wifes Summary....

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Command can have a better marriage to him by becoming hiw adoring Queen, hororing and obeying his every(reasnable andunreasonable) word. She needs to dress, act, and speak aso as to being HIM honor .

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Visionary can have a better marriage by laying aside her own dreams and aspirations and holding onto her role as HIS helpmeet. Believe in him and follow him with ajoy into whatever path he shooses.

~~~~~The wife of Mr. Steady can have a better marriage by being joyful and realizing what a friend and companion she really has. By living that gratitude verbally and actively, her man will blossom. by trying to change him, he will shrink witha 10 ton weight on his back.

TIME TO THINK>>>>

Make a list of your husbands attributes----things that allow you to see which type of man he is. It may be a mixture of 2 or maybe all 3, but, will be stronger in one area.

Ask God to give you wisdom to see your need and where you can build up rather than tear down you man.

May you have the tenacity to persevere to have a glorious marriage, I did and it can be!!!!!!!

Blessings to all who read....

Terri

~~~~~~~~~Time to visit?

Hello Ladies;

It has been on my mind today, when was the last time one had a few ladies over for ,hmmmmmmmmmmm, tea, and handwork?

We ladies need each other and to bounce things off each other. NOT TO GOSSIP, but, to see what others thnk.

When we share we should not be sharing to "TEACH" others, but, just to share and leave it. Now don't go away from a Tea with your feelings hurt, because others don't see it "your" way. Lets be grown up enough to understand, not all see things our way. AND, maybe, just ,maybe, there is another way to see it.

If you think that others will just jump at the chance to see "it" your way, that probably will not happen. They most likely will hear it, process it, and probably NOT do "it" your way. Part of getting together is to SHARE, and LEAVING IT THERE.

Being an adult does not mean our opinion is the only way. share it, and leave it. NO gossip about so and so, who just is this way and that.

"Love covers a multitude of sins...". yes, the Bible says that.....now onto bigger and better things, friendship, lets cultivate it, and not ruin it by wanting our own ways....

Its time to growup for many of us...lets!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~Mr. Visionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning Ladies;

First, I would like to "WELCOME" all of you who read this blog. It is one that you will learn from, get mad at, and hopefully it will help to change you into what God has created you to be, "A Helpmeet" to your Husband.

This is not a impossible task as you may think, and it is not as hard as you think, ""...with God all things are possible"..." Yes, you can be what God wants you to be and not what you think you should be, with help from Gods word applied to your life.

Lets get started.....

"Mr. Visionary"

If you may, God is a Visionary, as seen in His person, the Holy Spirit. Some men are made in the image of that part of His nature. These men are usually shakers, changers, and dreamers. They can get the whole family wound up over peripheral issues and then decide to up and relocate with no thought of a job or housing. These issues may be worthy of ones committment, but, with their limited field of sight they tenaciously focus on single issues.

They often call for doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct, then call people to task for their inconsistencies. If they are not wise, they can be real meannies to push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.

But, most will just sit around and complain, but, in their souls they are visionaries.

Today, they are gifted men, inventors, street preachers, organizers, and instigators of any front line issue.

They love confrontation and don't like the status quo. The are the men who keep the world from getting dull or boring.

Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with his words, music, writing, voice, art, or actions. He is the "voice crying out in the wilderness".

Good intentions don't always keep visionary from causing great harm. They can stir up pudding and end up with toxic waste if they are not wise. An unwise wife can add to the poison with negative words, or she can, with simple words of caution, bring attention to the goodness of the pudding and the wisdom in leaving it alone. Every Mr. Visionary needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.

If you are married to one of these men, rich or poor you will be. He may invest all you have in a farm and then find out its worth nothing and sell for a loss and move again. If he works a regular job, he may either work half the time or work 80 hours a week. He might purchase something for next to nothing(your last $..?) with hopes of fixing it up and selling it for ooodles, just to find out, its cannot be fixed up and you have to pay for it to be taken care of. The list goes on and on, but, he may never be rich in money, but he will be rich in experience.

Please to remember, most men are a mixture of types not just one.

The wife of Mr. Visionary should be just a little bit reckless and blind in one eye if she is going to enjoy the ride.

Is this your man? If so, ladies you should learn 2 very important things, How to be flexible, and how to always be loyal to your man.

You will be amazed at how much fun life can be if you learn to just go with the flow------his flow!

If you can get it into your head that your husband does not have to be right to follow, your little world will suddenly be a delight. No more feelings of dred for the next adventure. This also, sets him free to make mistakes, without his "wifey" looking over his shoulder to give him "eyes" that speak ever too loudly.

Thomas Edison was one of these men. Just imagine with me, his wife, after he goofed or fell flat on his face for the 999th time....

The Visionary man needs his womans support. If your daddy was a Mr. Steady, now you are married to Mr. Visionary, it might just take a little time to adjust and a few arguments to figure this out. One will either stick to him or leave, lets hope its the first.

Imagine the mother-in-law watching all of this, and her little girl going through it!

Some talk about their new ideas until you get and everyone else gets tired of it, and then forgets about it in the next breath, and onto the next. He might look at it more critically later, but, for now, hang on for the ride. He will have a thousand ideas for every idea and "you knew it all along". OUCH!, say that the next time, and you will se him pull away, and away, and away. It might destroy your marriage, but, wont change him. He will share his "dumb" ideas with another..........

The way you think determines how you feel and how you feel determines how you act. It will be your face he will want to look into to see the marvel of what he has just shared.

You can be his most important fan. When you know your man really needs you... you can be happy with just about anything.

Over time, he will get more "down to earth", but, when you are first married, your parents might think, he is crazy, hang on and learn to apprecite him for his Visionary attributes, purpose in your heart to be loyal to him and BE FLEXIBLE, then let him dream. Lean back and enjoy the ride!

Our old world needs these men, for he seeks out hypocrisy and injustice and slays the dragons. He calls his self and those around to a higher calling and knows how to do nearly everything and is readily willing to advise others.

One of his greatest needs will be for his wife to think objectively(proven truth) and use common sense, which will keep his feet on the ground.He sweetie needs to stay in a positive state of mind, yet, never jump into his make believe world, trying to be too much of a cheerleader on dead-end issues. Let him burn out on things that are not wise. Let him find his own balance through bumping into hard realities. No rolling of the eyes here, or a non shalante' attitude.

He is sooooo intense that matters can easily get blown out of proportion.

WIFE; guard against negative conversation with others. An idle conversation by her can bring about the end of a lifelong friendship. This is true with all men, but, especially so with "Mr. Visionary". Search your own heart and look at your motive in what you say to others about your man. Do your words build him up, or do they build you up and make you look like "the poor mother with all these children"? Keep this kind of thing up and your man will get suspicious and withdraw from you and leave you wondering why?

A womans idle negative conversation can cripple a strong man and cause him be get angry...I did that...not knowingly, but, because my man is a "Mr. Steady"...my dad was a "Mr. Visionary"...what a contrast, and almost destroyed my marriage because of my lack of understanding. Now, I am learning to look at my DH as the man he is, not what my Dad was!

You could render him unteachable... God says a womans conversation can render him "saved or lost".

If you want your "Mr. Visionary" to become a strong and confident man, keep your conversation, "chaste", you want his friends and family to look upon him as that also.

1 Peter 3:1-2 says...."Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of their wives ; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."

WOW!!!!! What a verse, there it is in plain english....

So you take offense esily? Well, with "Mr. Visionary"....one needs not to...Are you tough?, I hope!...Don't forget to be full of life and joy, he likes that....He is not equipped to be a comforter, he needs you to be.

What a plate to fill, you think, yes, but with Gods help, you too can be that wife, "Mr. Visionary" needs.

Pray, Pray, Pray, and Pray some more, Listen to who is talking to you....

May all who read these, grow in the

grace of The Lord and learn how to be that WIFE for the man she is married to....

Terri

.................Wisdom to understand who it is that you are married to.........

Good Morning Ladies;

A wise woman learns to adapt to her DH...........

This morning, we want to take a look at the above title...

Who is it that I am married to?, you ask...It seem as if God has made basically 3 types of men, and your DH will be one a mixture of 2 or some of all three. God did this to express His very own triad nature. Jesus was the perfect "3".

Men are not within their God given realm when they try to be something they are not meant to be(as in their natures).

Lets take a look at the 3 types and you will probably easily identify where your man is and if you have been a blessing or not to him....

Lets get started.............

By the we young women get married, we have preconceived ideas about our very own "prince charming"....things that contribute to this are men she has known, books, and outside stimulas. With these preconceived ideas, it makes it real tough on our "prince"....in our minds, they will be "perfect",,,however, they will NEVER be and far, far from it. God gave each only part of His nature and not complete. Add in the fact that men are fallen creatures and a girl wonders why she would ever want to tie her very life to one of these sons of Adam. But, God makes us ladies to have a innate desire to want one of these men and our hormones are working overtime to bring that along.

What happens when a girl finds out that after a time, this "man" that she thought God brought into her life is not as perfect as she thought he was...........now, she spends alot of time trying to change him into what she thought he was suppose to be....what if he is a "lemon"? Maybe asking God for Wisdom, would be the needed reaction.

Wisdom is knowing what you "bought" when you married that man, and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be.

All men are not created equal, and are not what we have as the "prince" in our minds.Our men are created in the image of God, but, will NEVER come even close to that. Because they are only "created", no man can be even close to "perfect", or else, they would not need us frail, human, fleshly women.

God gives imperfect woman to imperfect man so they can be heirs together of grace and become something more "together" then either of them would ever be alone.

If one fights ones husbands inadequacies or seeks to be dominant where he is not, both of you will fail. If you love him, and support him with his inadequacies and without taking charge, both of you will succeed and grow.

Now onto the 3 types of men.............................

Mr. Command.....

God is dominant, a sovereign and all powerfull God. He is also a visionary- omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady-the same yesterday, today, and always. Most men epitomize one of these 3 aspects of God.

A "Command Man", will be the leader, they almost have more than their share of dominance. Many times they are chosen by other men to be preachers, heads of businesses, and other such leadership positions. They usually do more than is required of them also.

He will usually(not always), want his wife to coetow to his needs, and not have any outside interests(this can be tempered too!), but, not by our suggestions.

If you are blessed to be married to one of these men, the faster one learns to make appeal without challanging his authority, the faster you are on your way to "bliss".... They sometimes have less tolerance, walking off in a "huff", leaving his wife stamouring for what to say. A woman married to one of these men, can talk till she is blue in the face, and still have to sign divorce papers. His felings are hidden soo deep, one wonders if he has any?

He seems to be sufficient unto himself. It is awfuyl being shut out. A woman married to one of these men, has to earn her place in his heart, by proving that she will be there through thick and thin, faithful, loyal, and obedient. Whe she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme. She is on call 24 hours a day, her man, wants to know why, when and how she is doing, saying and whatever in her life. He may even criticize her without even knowing it.

A woman married to a "Command man" wears a heavier yoke than others but, it CAN be VERY rewarding. In a way, her walk with this man, is easier, because there is NEVER any way for her to be in control, no gray areas, she can have a sense of calm and safety.

He is also a chance taker, and because of that, God put these in as Kings. A Mr. Command man, sees the BIG picture and takes action, even if it costs him his life and the lives of those he loves. He will usually take financial loss in order to help those he loves, if he is honest, but, if not,.........he will be selfish and use the resources of others to further his own interests.

This man NEEDS his wifes admiration, to keep him on top(so to speak), without this admiration his victories are muted.

If you as his wife can learn to take a second seat, and if she does not take offensiveness to his head strong aggressiveness, then she will be sitting at his side being adored, however, the opposite is also true. She will be his closest and sometimes his only confidante.

Reverance is of utmost importance to this kind of man. Do not belittle his accomplishments, nor how he does them, or he will shrink into a puddle of.....?

If you are the wife of this man, and resist his control, well, you might be in for a horriably bumpy ride and stay married and miserable yourself.

He might even brag till all are sick of him if he has not been trained how to work. If he has no wife or children and has left that, he will be obnoxiously a braggert. He may be even abusive, in other ways.

PLEASE remember, how a "Command man" reacts depends highly on how much his wife reverences him(not always though). In marriages, sometimes, he is not getting respect and thus, conflict, strife etc. When a wife plays her part as a help meet, this man will react differently.

When a "Command Man", (lost or saved) is treated with honor and reverence, a good help meet will find that her man will be wonderfully protective and supportive. remember, he is a COMMAND man, a LEADER, and will usually organize "it" to get "it" done,he will notusually clean up after himself.

He will also be most uncomfortable with "death" situations.

Ladies, this is a lot to hear and digest, take it in, ponder it(think, think, think, pray, pray, pray) and what you need, God will give it to you....

Don't be afraid to act upon what ever God gives you, even if it seems stupid, if it is good for your marriage(outside of sin, of course), then act upon it.

PLEASE don't think I am purporting to sin...NO!!! But, God can change your heart one vein at a time, PRAY for His wisdom, and stick to it...things can change...

More tomorrow....."Mr. Visionary".............

Thanks and Love to all who read.....

Terri

~ Meek?~

~~~~~~~~~"MEEK?"~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning...

I pray Ican keep up the additions and sharing what is on my heart with you all.

It seem good to me to do this.

This morning, I awoke with.."meek"...on my heart.

This is what the Concordance and dictionary said;

"...not easily provoked or irritated, submissive to divine will, gentle, yielding, forbearing(theres that word again), humble, mild, and unassuming..."

WOW!!!! Theres a lot to be said about this word....May we take some of these words to heart in our every day lives and apply them.

You think, "I will never be able to get this all in my heart?"...your right, without the Holy Spirit, one is a "...sounding brass and a tinkling symbol...."

Get it deep in ones heart, so when one comes up against any given situation, one can go with God and display these fruits. Don't be too hard on oneself, one will not always have victory with these things.....but, one can "pull ones boot straps up and go again"......Jesus is waiting.....................

Much Love to any that read this blog.....

In Him.......

~~~***Terri***~~~

...............................bowels of mercies....

Hello Ladies...
As I was writing the other day, it struck me about Colossians 3:12...the words, "..bowels of mercies"....
What exactly does that mean?
I looked in the concordance and the dictionary...here is what I found..you know how you don't want to know what a word means in the Bible, well.....

"....Bowels..."....strengthed from...an inward affection plus tender mercy plus pity.
The dictionary;
heart, pity, tenderness, interior, guts.

"...Mercies..."....pity
The dictionary; forebearance(self restraint, endure), pity, compassion, forgiveness, mild, kind.

"bowels of mercies"...To be strengthed from an inward affection with tender mercy and pity, self restraint, compassion and forgiveness.

Sometimes we don't want to obey the Scripture, cause its hard, but, Our Lord and Saviour reminds us, '...that He will never give us more than we can handle, and along with it, a way out."

Lets press toward the mark of the high calling of Jesus Christ.

LOVE to each and everyone that reads, may you pray for the grace to apply it to your life.

Terri

Glowing with Love....

Just a quote for today Ladies;

"To have the heart glow with "mutual Love" is vastly better than to Glare with the most pompous titles, offices and powers."

A contented mama/grandma....forgiveness....

Eph.4:1-4,29, 31, 32, 5:22, Col. 3:12.

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers."

"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and calmour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God forgave you."

"Wives submit yourselves unto your own husband."

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering, forebearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ hath forgiven you, so also do ye."

I don't think I need to add to the Holy Scriptures....

Friends....PLEASE read and let it sink deep into your soul, let God do the work, He wants to.... and be the "Contented mama/grandma, god would have you be...

Much LOVE to you all....

Terri

Alone?

How was your week? Were you in turmoil? Was it a good week? Did you hurdle things the Lord has asked you too look at?

Have you been pondering the questions I place each week?

Dear friend/sister, PLEASE don't tune me out...try to listen....

"ALONE"

Lets look at the title "Alone"?

I am a mother, Grandmother and Sister in the Lord of Lords, I have been divorced and remarried, thus, this is how I understand what others are going through when the DH decides to "look for greener pastures"....

I hopefully am giving things that will "Help" in not going through this again....the big "D"!!!

i was alone for a few years, due not to my DH finding another...but, due to my being a critical, judgemental, unhappy wife, who was not happy with anything. NO wonder he left,,,,,coming home to a Grump(putting it mildly), every night. NO, he was not and never has been a so called Christian....oh, he attended a Church building, because I harped enough to coerce him Into walking into the building with me, to make it look like all was well, but, all was not.

I want to encourage you wives and all who read these words, not to give in to "HARPING", Grumbling, hatefulness towards your DH, pulling away either emotionally or physically, from him...IT DOES NOTHING to build your relationship.

Now, on with my story, I took for granted that marriage was this way and it never could get better, but, never thought He would leave me, his little "Wifey"....

I AM NOT saying you made him do what he is doing or what he did.....just that, you can change yourself and truly be happy even in the midst of the most awful circumstances.

These things that drives men away, are not really, in the face, right in front, out and out rightly, there, they are subtle.

When you Dh acts reAlly fleshly at home, (swearing, does things that a "Godly man" wouLD not do...) What do you do?

Do you pull away from him, roll your eyes at him, even in front of others. Why not PRAY, PRAY<>

If he fails your children, where is your heart? How do you respond,... with coldness, or unconditional acceptance OF HIM...

How about when he makes a statement or story, or recounting a incident, do you correct him, do you roll your eyes,...what is it that you puSh him away with?

What about if he acts like a jerk? How do you act?

Please remember, I did all these and more, so I know exactly what you are feeling....

My exhusband, acted like a real jerk most of the time, but, that gave me no authority to treat him with distain, unsubmissiveness and criticalness....

How do we make our man "suffer", when he hurts us? Or, do you?

When he spends money you think you don't have?,,,what then...When he wants to do something and you don't, Hardheartedness, will not draw him.

What about when he needs/needed you just to believe in him, did you? Do you keep his faults ever before him, reminding him "I told you so"....

Why is it we women think if we are standoffish, we will draw him, not so, he will more than likely turn the other way, to HER! If he hasn't, you are one woman, that better tell him how much you appreciate him and change your mind about him....

When he doesn't take the "lead" in your home, with neighbors or friends, How do you act?

How do you act when in the company of family and friends? Are you the martyr?

When he did not know how to show love, and I felt a void emotionally, I wish I had borne all things and hoped all things and loved him unconditionallly, instead of giving up inside and turning to others for emotional support. I never saw the need to endear myself to him. I took for granted that he would fulfill the husbands moral obligation to love me. I wish I had gone to "Gods Beauty School" for the whole woman.

After him leaving, the children and I were plunged into poverty, I could not make enough money then, 20 some years ago to keep food on the table, no sitters then, no $, my 9 year old daughter kept the children, got them ready for school and got them dressed, fed and clothed and ready to go to school....(much to my dismay, but, what else could I do?) Child support was unheard of and my car was a clunker, my rent was big, and the heat never went above 65....things slowly fell apart and then I began to...

Some of you can relate, and some not....do something, before you are this woman and Alone!

Today, there is a breed of women that do almost anything they can to make ends meet. Just trying to make it without a man around. Their dark circles around their eyes and never being home tells a story all to prominent in our society today. At least employers can depend on them, because they cannot loose their job! Always distracted, they are away in their thinking, thinking about all that needs to be done. Sometimes single moms team up, that helps greatly. Bitterness grows in their hearts though, as they watch happy couples and even 2nd time arounds....Now, What is wrong with this picture?

Do you think, they have to stay this way? NO!!!! I did not, I saw my need and changed it with Gods help, one cannot do it Alone...Only with Gods help and a born again experience can one change.

OH yes, remember all of this was not your fault, it was your husbands. Really?
Maybe you can change what it is that drove him away, wether emotionally, or physically.

I am going to write something,and you may just erase this Blog, but, I need to, remember all of these problems started when "you" got MAD at him for?........you got Mad at him for?.......

Or when you got MAD at him for?....................

I think your getting the picture....Then it all got worse, when he wanted you to do something and you were MAD...then he asked you a question and you were MAD....then he wanted you to do something intimately, and you wer still MAD!!!!

Do you patronize your spouse and treat as if he is a dumb kid? Because he really doesn't know? He really can't possibly be that stupid....you think....

Well, he IS NOT!!! MAY I?...tis you that is that stupid...for listening to the enemy of our souls, the enemy who will use anything to destroy mariages and people. Did you just seethe in hate for your DH yelling/swearing at the children?

Now, sister/Friend....what are you going to do this week? Try to remember NOT to criticize, attack, be distant, standoffish, or just plain MAD!!!!

Go the foot of the cross when this wants to happen, pray, pray, pray...dedicate your heart to the one who created you, Jesus Christ, and fall on your face in tears, to hear what the Lord of Hosts has for you!

He has soo much,. Listen....

He practices his faults, and you practice your mad attitude. well, you might both be practicing divorce if not halted.

Have you forgotten why you were created? Gods way works, yours will not....if not changed!

This is a hard lesson, but taken to heart will give you freedom, and joy in your heart of hearts. For a moment God has broken through your wall of excuses...why not try? What have you got to loose?

"Therefore, to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin". (James 4:17).

"But he that heareth, and doeth it not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great"(Luke 6:49).

"For God has not given us a Spirit of fear; but, of power, and of love, and of a sound mind'(II Timothy 1:7).

Lets practice Love and happiness, not being MAD!

What is Gods will for your life?

To be the best Helpmeet you can be?

Sin causes women to self destruct,because this self destruction is a slow, almost undescernable process, many women do not see the destruction coming until it is too late. This slow process often blinds awoman from seeing her part in this destruction, than she will repeat her mistakes....

Make a new habit....

Think of the thing that your husband does that irritates you the most....Now, can you tell yourself that this is really not as bad as my mind and self destruction is making it out to be? My critical attitude

is a far greater sin than his bad habits, I am guilty of disobeying the Word of God, when I do this. It is Gods business to direct my Dh and convict him, not mine.

Getting Serious....

Go back and reread this blog post, every time you see something that talks to your heart, ask yourself...is it I Lord?...and possibly NOT my Dh?

Than ask God to nudge your heart, when you fall into this trap again.